Playing For Keeps(DISCONTINUED)
by neveralonewithyou25
Summary: Elsa Winters, an accountant for Anderson Inc., isn't the happiest person around. Losing the one person she thought she loved. having no one to fall back on; she thinks maybe life's not even worth it. But when she meets this redhead, everything changes, but is it for the better? Rated M for sexual content, suicidal tendencies, and violence.
1. Losing Faith

I sighed and looked down, fighting back the wave of fresh tears that threatened all so harshly to spill. Belle stood in front of me, tears already sliding down her cheeks in silent cries. She didn't bother wiping them away though; what was the point anymore? I wanted comfort, reassurance, some sign that she wasn't giving up on me just yet. But I knew it wouldn't come; this fight had been _my_ fault, brought on by _my_ lack of trust. Why couldn't I be happy? Why couldn't I ever leave well enough alone?

"Belle, I..." I somehow managed. But even I winced at my sad attempt.

"Don't, just...don't, Elsa," Belle whispers, her voice so strained and full of pain it broke my heart to hear. _What was I doing to her_?

I watched without argue as she stepped back, turning from me. She didn't even glance back as she left the room, heading for the stairs. I listened quietly to her receding footsteps up, every single step a stab to my already aching heart. _Why was I always hurting her? Couldn't I do anything right?_ I had to swallow back my self-pity as she disappeared. Biting my lip until I tasted the coppery crimson substance was the only way I could silently abuse myself right now.

I still couldn't believe I'd let myself even consider Belle cheating on me. She loved me, as I loved her, and I knew she was the loyalest person I'd ever know. No, she'd never hurt me like that; she'd never hurt _anyone_ like that. We'd been together nearly two years now, the one person that knew more about me than even my parents. I'd let her in unlike everyone else; she knew about my mistakes, the troubled past I'd lived. She'd been the one person I'd given myself to fully, knowing she loved me for who I was, not out of pity. And yet here I was, breaking her.

With a sad sigh I stood, making up my mind. I needed to apologize. Slowly I trudged to the stairwell, forcing my lead-like legs to cooperate and move upward. Each of the steps creaked beneath my feet, damning me. I cursed my own self at being so loud, knowing full well tonight my wrists would once more see the sharp edge of blade. It wasn't a habit I was proud of, and Belle had nearly cured me of it, but sometimes the only thing that felt right was watching the drops of red glistening, feeling the sting of injured flesh.

The door to our room was only the second down, and once I stood before it I hesitated before reaching out and grasping the doorknob. The metal was cool beneath my fingers, a feeling I found somewhat ironic. The cold never bothered me, but Belle hated it. From inside I could hear faint sobs and muffled cries. My heart lurched, hanging together by some miraculous tendrils. I'd hurt her so badly with my accusations; I couldn't take them back now. Holding my breath, I slowly pushed open the door, pausing after just a brief moment in case Belle would throw something or shout for me to go away. Neither happened, so carefully I pushed open the door a bit more and slipped inside.

"Belle?...Look, I know you probably don't want to see me...But can we please talk sweetheart?" I asked, my voice barely reaching above a sad whisper.

Belle looked up from the pillow she'd been sobbing into, and a few of the remaining tendrils of my heart snapped. Pain-filled, red-rimmed, watery brown eyes met mine, silently pleading. For what I couldn't understand; I had to look away to keep myself together. She willed herself up into a sitting position, bringing her knees up and hugging them tightly.

"I-I never chea-eated," she cried quietly, sending a new wave of guilt coursing through me. _How could I have been such a fool?_

"Belle...honey I know that now. God...I was such an idiot...I'm so sorry, I'm such a fool," I cried, losing it at last.

I broke down with a heavy sob that ripped up my chest, falling to my knees and hugging myself. I was honestly surprised at my own self; my motto had always been _conceal, don't feel._ I realized I hadn't cried like this in years. To my utter shock Belle immediately jumped from the bed, walked to my side and kneeled, and hugged me. She ran one hand up and down my back soothingly, the other wiping at tears.

"Shh, it's okay, Elsa. I forgive you honey, I do. It's okay," she assured me, trying so hard to sooth me.

I turned and toppled into her, sending us both crashing down onto the carpeted floor. She gasped at the suddenness of it, but immediately held me and went back to whispering softly. I clung to her small frame desperately, sobbing against her shoulder pitifully. _God, tonight would be filled with cuts._ I barely heard her reassurances, my mind still focusing on what a fool I'd been. It had hurt us both. For all I knew she was covering her hated for me with these actions just so it'd hurt me worse later. That brought another crying fit. _What am I up to, four cuts now?_ She truly didn't seem to mind holding me, but I eventually ended my tight embrace, pulling back. We both sat up, but I was so guilt consumed still that I had to look from her.

"What is it?" she asked, honest concern in her voice.

"I...I don't deserve you, Belle. You're sweet and understanding and just...amazing. And I'm fucked up! I always have been. It's... the reason no one's ever been stupid enough to stay with me," I cried.

My heart ached to the point of physical pain as I looked away. I was a coward. Though I said the words I didn't want to believe them. No one had any clue how badly they really hurt. Suddenly Belle's arms were around me once again, pulling me closer to her warm body. Her loving embrace was welcomed.

"Don't you dare say that, Elsa! You're not fucked up, you're so, so amazing. And if I'm stupid staying with you then I'll be happy being labeled the biggest fool on the planet." Though her words registered, I felt numb inside. It seemed every emotion had drained away, leaving behind an empty shell. I was weighing Belle down, and she didn't deserve that. The only thought that hit me finally ripped my heart to shreds. Maybe...maybe it'd be best if this ended. I could only imagine the pain I'd been putting her through these past two years.

"Belle...I can't do this," I muttered, fighting back every other thought.

She simply stared at me a long moment, not grasping my meaning. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

My mind screamed for me to just shut up, to keep what I felt to myself. But the shredded pieces of my heart knew it was time; Belle deserved better, more. It was time I allowed her that opportunity.

"I...I can't do this anymore, Belle. I think...it'd be best if this ended..."

There was silence then, hanging over our heads, cascading down on us like a suffocating blanket being tossed over head. Neither of us spoke, my words still digesting, still being processed.

"You don't mean that," she finally whispered, her voice like ice, slicing through me, leaving a mark I knew would never fully heal.

"I have to mean it," I finally whispered back.

More silence. The seconds ticked by endlessly, a painful realization of the situation forming. Two years. Two years, and everything I'd ever known, being carelessly tossed aside.

"Please, just...just go," I breathed, pulling away from Belle fully.

I immediately missed her warmth, longed for her to pull me back and refuse to go. I wanted her to tell me she loved me, that she was never leaving, to give that reassuring smile I'd found so soothing all this time. I didn't attempt to keep my emotions at bay any longer. Tears spilled, sobs broke forth, and while I was wallowing in self despair and self hatred, Belle left. She didn't argue, didn't fight. So I was left on the floor of my room, knowing everything I'd lived for was going.

Maybe death wouldn't be as bad as this...

 **Hey everyone. So this has been an idea I've been testing with and I wanted to know if y'all think maybe it's worth a shot? (: Leave your opinion and based on the majority I'll either continue or toss. Also I'll still be working on my other fanfic. Summer vacation's coming up so more time to write, yay!**


	2. Brief Encounters

_**Three Years Later...**_

The ringing of my alarm clock awoke me from a restless slumber, one that left me drenched in a cold sweat. I groaned and uncurled from the fetal position I'd taken up some time throughout the night. My stomach was in knots, every muscle stiff, but I somehow forced myself up into a sitting position. Due to the sweat the thin fabric of my over-sized t shirt clung to my skin, and i pulled at it annoyingly.

"God," I muttered, stretching before reaching over to shut off the buzzing that still insisted to pester. Bright red numbers shone out at me. 6:03.

Running my fingers through my matted hair, I stood stiffly. The rest of the morning went as usual; a cold shower that lasted fifteen minutes, quickly drying off, throwing on my everyday work attire, brushing my teeth, braiding my hair. In about a half hour i was standing downstairs shoving spoonfuls of cereal in my mouth and practically just swallowing. Yeah not the best method but at this point I didn't really care. Hell it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. That ship sailed a long time ago...

Quickly I tossed the only half-eaten food over into the sink then left, grabbing my bag as I headed out the door. Within the hour I found myself sitting awkwardly on the subway trying to ignore anyone even existed around me. The metallic clicking of metal wheels on rail was all I paid attention to. I'd have driven, but unfortunately my car was in the shop after...an accident that occurred just a bit back. So now, though I hated it more than anything, the subway was my only way to and from work. I mean it wasn't like I had any friends that could take me.

The ride to work was long, too long, the result of living on the complete opposite side of the city from the building I was located in. I was an accountant for Anderson Inc. Not the best job out there, and the constantly having to do what I was told to wasn't my preference, but it paid enough for a decent life. The Anderson's were known for their technology enhancements. They were actually the ones who finally succeeded in a hovering, solar powered car. Not that anyone other than billionaires could afford one.

When I was finally greeted by the cold rush of air that always hit me as I entered the building, I headed for the elevator. I was actually a bit early for a change, but that didn't bother me. My life simply consisted of sleepless nights, groggy work days, then self loathing and pain at night as I realized I was a pathetic fuck up that no one would ever again love. Slipping into the elevator, I pressed the button to go to the fourth floor and stood silently. Just as the doors were closing though, a voice called out.

"Hey, wait, please don't let those doors close!" a feminine voice called to me.

Out of pure instinct I grabbed the sliding door just in time, holding it, keeping it from closing. A small petite frame rushed past me, and lavender shampoo filled my senses.

"Oh gosh, thank you so much! I though I was going to miss it and I'm already late so I would've had to take the stairs and believe me, I've done that before and it's _not_ fun at all. Like your feet start hurting and it's so tiring and there's just _so_ many steps," the young woman ranted.

I let go of the door as she was talked and turned to look at her. My breath caught slightly as I took in the person standing not three feet. She was shorter than me by about two or three inches, and looked about a year or so younger. Red hair trailed over her shoulders in adorable twin braids, and freckles danced across her sun kissed skin. Teal eyes, full of light and life gleamed at me, and I immediately knew she'd never experienced anything majorly bad. I didn't think she'd deserve it. The brightest, most genuine smile I'd ever seen lit up her face, and her cheeks were slightly flushed from the rush.

"I'm Anna," she said, blushing slightly as she realized I was studying her. She extended her hand to me, waiting for me to take it.

I simply stared a long moment, unsure what to do. My mind was screaming at me to just keep my mouth shut, to ignore her, but something about her made me curious, as if I'd never seen a person before. Slowly I took her hand, shocked at the feeling. Her hand was small, skin soft, and electricity shot through my arm. I think I blushed, but I couldn't tell. I was too busy staring into Anna's eyes.

"Um...what's your name?" she finally asked, flustered slightly from the obviously creepy way I was staring. _Nice going, I bet she thinks you're a pervert or something._

"O-oh, Elsa...My name's Elsa," I said, looking away.

Anna squeezed my hand lightly, and I realized I was still holding it. Embarrassed, I pulled back immediately and gripped the strap of my bag tightly. She noticed my discomfort and stepped back slightly, but the grin she'd had earlier returned.

"Do you work here?" she asked, as if it wasn't obvious. I nodded quietly, and she took the opportunity to continue talking. "I'm here for an interview. I'm really hoping I get a job here. I've always wanted to work in a big company. Like, when I was younger I wanted to be a veterinarian or police officer, but as I grew up I realized I wanted some type of business background. Oh gosh, I'm rambling again aren't I? I'm sorry, I only do it when I'm nervous. I mean I have an interview that means a lot and I'm standing in here with a beautiful woman right beside me and..."

I felt myself redden at her comment. _Beautiful? She has to be blind._ She seemed to realize what she said because she immediately brought her hands up defensively, face reddening so intensely it almost matched her hair.

"T-that's not what I meant! N-not that you're not beautiful. I-I mean, you are, but don't get the wrong idea. I mean, I'm not flirting with you or anything. I just met you and I don't even know your last name. Oh god, I'm making an idiot of myself aren't I? I'll just shut up now."

She looked down at her feet as if ashamed and though my face still burned I couldn't control a small smile that somehow managed to form on my lips.

"It's okay, really. I don't mind the rambling. It's cute...And thank you. I haven't been called beautiful in...well a long time." It felt strange to be allowing myself an opportunity to actually communicate with someone, but not at all as bad as I thought.

Hesitantly Anna looked back up, returning a small smile. "I don't see why not."

We stood in silence for a long moment then. I found myself actually missing the sound of her voice, and I silently cursed myself for it. No, I couldn't open up again. The moment I got out the elevator, I'd probably never see this woman again anyways.

The elevator finally came to a stop on the fourth floor, and slowly the doors pulled apart with a ding. I composed myself and began to step out. But just as I'd made it over the threshold, a gentle hand grasped my wrist. The sudden warmth of her touch made me shudder involuntarily and I looked back instantly. Anna smiled at me.

"I know this is weird, you know, since we first met and I made a complete fool of myself, but I want you to consider this."

She pressed a small rectangular piece of paper into my hand then let my wrist go, her fingers grazing my own. I stepped back and watched as the elevator doors closed, her disappearing behind them. I knew my face was probably red, for the simple fact I could feel my cheeks burning.

I made my way down the corridor to my tiny office. All it consisted of was a rectangular desk cluttered with papers, pens, a small plant, and a computer, a swivel chair, and a few posters of my own choosing. I dropped my bag by the side of the desk before sitting down and staring at the paper in my hand. With a deep breath I unfolded it with care. Sloppy yet beautiful cursive letters lay before me, and I had to read them three or four times to fully comprehend.

 _xxx-xxx-xxxx As weird as this is, I was hoping maybe we could get a coffee or something sometime. You seem like you need a friend. Call me -Anna_

She'd given me her number and wanted to get together. But my eyes remained glued to that one line. _You seem like you need a friend. You seem like you need a friend._ She wasn't interested in me. She just felt sorry for me. _Just like every other asshole in this damn city._

I dropped the note onto my desk and pushed it away. I couldn't call her. I wouldn't. I didn't need a friend, I didn't need her sympathy. I was fine by myself.


	3. Yes or No

Work was hell. Just like any other day I suppose. The hours came and went, papers piling up, emails clogging my inbox. And all I could do was think of that redhead. The ditsy girl from earlier. The one that, despite being an asshole for just feeling pity toward me, I'd actually enjoyed having a conversation with. God was I a moron.

As soon as my work hours ended, I was gone from that place. All I wanted now was to be left alone, get away from everyone and everything. I knew the one way to do that.

The subway ride was shorter than this morning, though still taking forever since I wasn't going home just yet. Why go back to a place where nothing but depression resides?

As I walked into the familiar dingy atmosphere of the little bar I'd grow accustomed to coming to, I was greeted by the normal shouts and curses and foggy air. The smell of alcohol was so strong it burned your senses as you breathed in.

I took to the wall, trudging through the few people to get to the bar. Most people here were here for one of two reasons: either drink away their regrets and past or whore themselves around and get laid for the night. I was one of those that drank away the pain and guilt. Yeah, it didn't stay away all that long, but the time that it did was much more peaceful than any other time.

"Hey, Elsa," the bartender greeted as I sat, still wiping off one of the mugs.

"Hey, Krist," I answered, leaning onto the bar counter.

Krist wasn't an actual bartender. He was the bartender's son, and usually worked the evening shifts to help out. In the year or so I'd been coming to this place, he'd become a friend, the only person I confided in. So in all honesty, I guess I had exaggerated a bit when I said I had no friends.

"The usual?" he asked, already reaching behind the counter after sitting down a shot glass.

I nodded and watched as he poured the brandy into the glass. When he began to put it back I raised my hand. "Leave the bottle."

He slowly sat it back down as I lifted the glass, swirling its contents. He wiped his hands on the rag. "Tough day, huh?"

I sighed and pressed the container to my lips, tilting my head back and letting the liquid slide down my throat. I'd grown used to the faint burning, but still I winced.

"Yeah, I guess," I muttered after lowering it and reaching for the bottle. "I met someone though. This girl. Anna, I think her name was. She gave me her number."

Krist smiled lightly. "Hey look at you, a real tease, huh? You plan on calling her?"

I shrugged and listened to the drink pour into the glass. From down the bar came a shout for the bartender, and Krist raised his hand.

"Hey, I'll be right back. Don't start getting drunk on me before you even tell me the story. I mean it, I'll take the bottle back if I have to."

I couldn't help snorting slightly. "Fine. Now go do your job."

He nodded and turned, heading for the guy who called, and I was left with the dark beverage that offered a minimal escape and my thoughts.

 _Anna. What are her intentions? Does she really just want to be friends? Who am I kidding? Of course that's all she wants. Who would ever like me?_

I swallowed another mouthful of the sour substance, grimacing as it ran down my throat, my taste-buds still tingling.

"Hey," a sultry voice purred from behind me.

I looked around slowly at the intruding sound, my gaze falling on a woman that looked to be a few years older than me. She had curly brunette hair tied back in a ponytail with loose bangs that hung over one eye. Her eye color was hard to tell in the dark lighting; it was either blue or dark green. Her skin was tan, a smirk on her thin lips, which were covered by the darkest shade of red lipstick.

It was extremely easy to tell why this woman was here.

"Hi," I answered back, not bothering to fake enthusiasm.

She motioned to the stool beside me. "Mind if I sit, hun?"

I shook my head and turned back to the bar as she sat, far too close for comfort personally. She was so close every time she moved her leg it brushed against my own.

"I'm sorry for intruding. I just saw you across the room and couldn't help myself." Her voice was low, slurred almost, instantly portraying she'd had one two many to drink.

"I bet you use that on all the girls," I muttered, fingering my glass.

She let out a small, halfhearted laugh, and I hated it. _God, Krist, what the hell is taking so long?_

"Only the girls I find interesting," she replied, looking me up and down.

I hated that look in her eyes, like she was mentally undressing me, figuring out if she wanted me or not. It was pathetic, and there was no way I was falling for the same old bullshit from some drunk broad with no self respect at all.

"I'm Megara. Friends call me Meg," she finally introduced herself, her words more slurred than before.

I looked up at her and saw her eyelids were drooping slightly. _Good. Maybe she'll pass out before trying to get in my pants._

"Elsa," I said, looking back down at my glass.

"Elsa," I heard her murmur, as if trying to process the meaning of it. "That's a nice name," she finally managed.

"Thanks. Yours too," I said.

There was a moment of quiet between us, and I mentally hoped she found me as unattractive and boring as the rest of humanity seemed to. But hey, some girls are desperate.

"I couldn't help but notice you're alone. Does that mean you're single?"

I nearly scoffed. _So what if I am? It's not like you'd ever have a shot with me. Even I have some self respect._

"You could say that," I finally muttered.

She smirked at that, seeming to lean even closer in. "Good. Then I have an offer."

I nearly told her off right then, but instead I bit my tongue. "Oh? And if I refuse?"

She chuckled without humor. "Oh this is an offer you can't refuse."

I rolled my eyes. _Yeah? Just watch me._ "Okay, I'm intrigued," I lied. "What's the offer?"

She leaned in closer then, right by my ear, so close I could smell the alcohol on her breath. "Why don't we go somewhere private?" She bit her bottom lip. "I promise you'd like it."

I would have said something if Krist hadn't showed up then, slipping back behind the counter to stand in front of me. He looked at me curiously, as did Meg at him.

"Elsa, who's your friend?" he asked.

I swallowed and sent him a pleading glare. "This is Meg. I just met her."

He saw the look I gave and knew what to do. We'd done it before.

"Oh, nice to meet you," he said, giving a small wave. "Glad to see my girlfriend's finally making some friends where I work."

Meg stared at him a moment before turning to look at me, pulling back. "Boyfriend? But I thought you said earlier you were-"

"Single? Yeah, she seems ashamed of me or something. I don't know. I kinda wish she'd just admit we were together," Krist spoke up, feigning a hurt expression my way.

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just, don't like the term taken," I replied.

Meg shook her head and stepped down from the stool. "Yeah, well, this was fun and all. But I'm not interested in couple quarrels."

We watched as she stalked off, not sparing me a second glance, and I sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Kristoff. I owe you one," I muttered.

He grinned and leaned on the counter. "You say that each time but you never pay me back."

I rolled my eyes and pushed the glass to him. "I still come here, don't I?"

He laughed, and I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I guess. Hey, are you done already? You only drank like three glasses," he said, lifting the glass and bottle.

I nodded and cleared my throat watching as he put them both away.

"Actually, tonight I don't think I want to stumble home and have a hangover in the morning. I just want to talk."

Krist genuinely looked surprised at that. "Alright, then let's talk. Now, earlier you mentioned this girl, Anna, I think. What's with her?"

I smiled and looked down at the counter. _What's the harm in just thinking? Hell, she might actually me. It couldn't hurt...could it?_

I looked back up, a new found courage in me. "Imma call her, Krist. I think I might actually like her."


	4. Captivated

_Are you a moron? How hard is it to dial a number?_

I stared down at the screen of my phone and sighed. This was the third time I was attempting to call Anna. Pathetic, I know.

"God, just grow a pair," I hissed, directing it toward myself.

With a deep breath I looked back at the paper and started to punch in the number. With each digit my courage seemed to falter even further. _What am I doing? Am I insane?_

But even with the number now fully dialed in and my finger hovering over "send", my body seemed to freeze. I'd just gotten over Belle. Hell, why lie? I _still_ wasn't fully over Belle. So why chance it again? I shut my eyes and ignored the pain in the pit of my stomach.

 _Because I want to be happy again._

 _Because I miss having someone there for me._

 _Because I'm sick of being alone._

I swallowed and clicked "send", not giving myself time to argue before raising the phone to my ear.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Then the click as someone answered, and her voice hit my ear drums. "Hello?"

I swore my mind stopped in that moment. Her voice, like sweet honey, seemingly sounding even cuter than the first time, was music to my ears. How the hell was that even possible?

"Hello? Is someone there?" she asked.

It was then I realized I hadn't answered, and I felt my face burn. "U-um, hi," I somehow managed, hating how I stuttered.

She seemed to hesitate, and I suddenly regretted having gone through with it. _Dammit, say something, please._

"I'm sorry, but who is this?" she finally asked, breaking the awkward silence.

I felt my stomach sink. I shouldn't have expected her to remember, but it sure did hurt when my hopes were shot to hell. _So much for wanting more than a friendship. Not that I blame her._

"This is Elsa...We met a few days ago, on the elevator," I tried clarifying, though my mood had dropped significantly and I only wanted to hang up.

She processed that a moment, then when she spoke I could have sworn she seemed more cheerful, though it was probably just my imagination.

"Oh hi. I didn't think you'd call." I frowned at that, and she suddenly spoke up, seeming to realize how I could've taken that. "Not that I didn't want you to or anything. I'm glad you did."

I began pacing for the millionth time, cautiously trying to perceive the best way to go about this. _Straight forward or just hint? Do I ask her to lunch or just a cup of coffee or something? Is_ dinner _too much? Probably but what if she doesn't even like coffee?_

"Are you still there?" she asked, startling me. I hadn't realized I'd gone silent for so long.

"O-oh, yeah, I am." I chewed on my bottom lip a moment, pausing in my continuous movement to stare out the bedroom window.

"Okay good. I really thought you'd hung up for a moment, then I began worrying and going over what I'd said. I mean, I know I just blab a lot. Plenty of people have told me that. Same with the rambling, only, that happens when I'm nervous... Like now, I suppose," she said quietly, and I clearly heard the concern in her voice.

"Hey, it's okay, I don't mind. I have worse habits," I replied, running a hand through my hair. _Like pushing people away and scarring my body._

"You hurt yourself?" Anna suddenly asked, surprising me. I felt my face heat up. _God, you moron! You said that out loud!_

"I-it's nothing, really," I said quickly. "Please, just forget I said that."

There was a long pause, and my stomach sank. What was she thinking? Would she hang up?

"Okay," she finally said, and the same hint of a smile from earlier was in her voice. _Wow, nothing phases this girl._ "So, what'd you call me for?"

I cleared my throat and shrugged lightly. _Okay, this is it. Just ask her out. It's not that complicated._

"I-I was wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee or something with me some time," I said quickly, shutting my eyes.

"Sure," she answered.

My mind stopped, my eyes shot open. "W...what?"

She giggled quietly. "I said sure. But I'm not a coffee drinker. How about hot cocoa instead? I know the perfect little shop that deals with..."

But even though she kept talking my mind could only process that she'd said _yes._ To _me._

"...me up?" Her voice broke into my thought and for a moment I simply had to process she'd asked something.

"What?"

I heard her chuckle lightly, the smile obvious in her voice. "I asked, 'When are you going to pick me up?'"

I swallowed, unease suddenly attacking me. _Crap, my car's still in the shop... Do I tell her that?_ Then, an idea hit.

"Is five this afternoon okay?" I asked, a smile playing on my lips.

"It's perfect," she replied.

"Great!" I felt queasy, a feeling I hadn't felt in years. "Just give me your address."

* * *

Standing in front of the mirror, I looked myself over. A pair of newer denim jeans, a pale blue t-shirt, sneakers.

 _God, is this too casual? Is this a date or a get-together? What is she wearing._

I scowled and grabbed my hoody, a dark blue, oversized hoody I'd had for nearly two years, and tossed it on as well. After all, there was a small nip in the air (though it didn't bother me) and at least I'd have something to give her if this was a date and she was cold.

I ran my fingers through my hair in a comb-like manner, thinking. Finally, I shrugged. Reaching behind my head and watching in the mirror, I was quickly able to put my hair in it's normal french braid, my movements nimble from the years of practice.

I smiled at myself when I was done. _No matter what this is, I just hope I make a good impression._

Glancing at the clock, however, told me if I didn't hurry it'd lead to the worst first impression; being late.

"Shit," I swore angrily, tearing from the room, pulling out my phone as I did.

I punched in the number from memory, held it to my ear. Ringing. Ringing. Ringing. I scolded Kristoff silently. _Pick up the damn phone you-_

"Hello?" His voice came on so suddenly it startled me, making me nearly drop my phone as I locked my door behind me.

"Krist? Oh thank god. Look, I'm getting ready to be late. Do you mind just bringing the car here?"

There was a small pause. "But that would mean _I'd_ have to walk home," he huffed.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, so it's okay that I walk there?"

He groaned and huffed again. "Okay, okay, I'll be there in half an hour."

It was my turn to groan. "No, I need you here sooner. Like, fifteen minutes sooner."

"Geez, I'd have to break the speed limit and rush right now. How the hell did you think you'd make it if you walked?"

I bit my lip and kicked at a loose stone. "Well, I'd planned on leaving a lot earlier but then I didn't like what I had on so I changed then I thought I needed another shower then I changed again..." I was slightly shocked at myself for being so honest.

Kristoff's booming laugh hit my ears. "God, Elsa, this girl has you wrapped around her finger like a dog."

I immediately froze and glared. "I. Am. Not. A. Dog," I hissed. Even through the phone I could feel him wince.

"Okay, okay, it was just an expression. I'll be there soon, okay? Don't do anything I wouldn't on the first date."

The dial tone sounded before I could reply, signalling he'd hung up. I lowered the phone and slipped it back in my pocket, sitting down on the front steps. Nothing left to do but wait.

* * *

The moment Krist pulled up, we exchanged hellos, he gave me the keys, then I was off. Though I felt kinda bad leaving him there like that, I didn't have much of a choice unless I wanted to leave Anna waiting.

The drive to her place was probably not nearly as painful as it seemed, but I was sweating by the time I pulled in beside a small, grey Sedan.

"Come on, pull yourself together. It's not even a real date, just a friendly interaction." But even my own words seemed false and unreal to my ears.

Stepping out the car felt like my first attempt at walking. My stomach was queasy, legs unsteady. Never had I felt so unsure. That was, until I stood before her door.

I couldn't even raise my fist to knock. I just stared at the white painted wood like an idiot, palms moist, throat constricted.

 _For crist sake, you barely know the woman! Stop acting like a pussy and knock on the damn door. What's she gonna do, bite you?_ Of course that thought just made my face burn.

I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath. I brought my fist up, opened my eyes.

Then, I knocked.

Agonizingly long, drawn out moments passed where all I did was stare at the door. No sounds from inside, no movements through the window beside the door. No indication anyone was even here. My stomach sank.

 _She's not here. She forgot, didn't she? Did she even care in the first place? I bet she was just trying to get rid of me anyways..._

And then suddenly the door was pulled open, a figure stepping out. _Anna._

My eyes were drawn to her instantly, all doubt and worries fluttering away. She wore a dark green cardigan and loose jeans, her beautiful hair tied back in two twin braids. A smile lit up her teal eyes which danced with the light, the freckles on her skin only adding to the perfect picture.

"You're here," she said simply. But even those two words were enough to send butterflies through my stomach.

 _Oh god, what am I getting myself into?_

But as soon as the thought occurred, it was forced away by another heart stopping smile from her.

Regardless of if this was a date or no, whether I was simply her friend or more, I was captivated.

And this time, I didn't want to push it away.


	5. Perfect

I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn't been out on a date in three years, hadn't thought about it. Now, I knew some, but I might as well have been a love sick teenager again. All I wanted was to know Anna was happy.

At first, it was extremely awkward. I didn't have the slightest clue what to say, how to act. From the casual clothes it was obvious this wasn't a date, but still it made me nervous and insecure.

Once we left her house, however, her giving me directions as I drove, the atmosphere became more...bearable. It was warm in the car (she'd insisted on the heater being turned up) but that didn't bother me. Again, tonight I was determined to impress her.

"So, you obviously work for my father," Anna finally said.

I was slightly taken aback, but I nodded. _Just go with it. She knows more about it than you do._ "Yeah. I'm a secretary of sorts."

She nodded and looked over, a smile on her face. "I might see you around then. Dadd-... I mean, Mr. Anderson hired me as kind of a secretary."

 _Kind of?_ "What do you mean?"

She looked out the window as she spoke. "Well, I know it's because I'm his daughter, but I couldn't turn daddy down when he said I could be his secretary. So, my job will be all around the building."

I nodded, flipping on the turn signal. "Oh, okay. Then, hopefully I'll see you around the place." _Way to go on making that sound genuine, you moron._

She grinned over at me. "Are you always like this?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, glancing over. "Always like what?"

She shrugged and motioned to the left. "Just, I don't know... Don't take this the wrong way, but you seem so... introverted."

I turned the steering wheel, chancing another glance. "I fail to see how that's a bad thing." _Is it bad? If it is what am I supposed to do about it? I've always been this way... Especially after Belle._

My grip on the wheel tightened, and I felt a jab of pain in my chest. _God. Three years and I'm still bitching about that. Fuck, I'm so fucking pathetic..._

"Hey," Anna said, placing a gentle hand on my arm.

I closed my eyes briefly, opening them quickly once again. "I'm fine, really. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? You spaced out there... Was it what I said? I didn't mean any offense or anything." She seemed to shrink back, scared I'd go off or something I guess.

I smiled lightly at her and cleared my throat. "No. Just... memories, is all."

"Oh..." She processed that a moment, then gave a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I wont pry, Elsa. Your past is your own. But if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be here. I swear."

That made my throat lock momentarily, and I swallowed back a lump that was forming. _How long has it been since someone made that promise? Will...she keep it?_

The rest of the drive was quiet, and once we reached our destination I was relieved. I pulled up to the curve carefully, parking the car. We got out, and once we stood before a small, brick building I couldn't help grinning.

The exterior wasn't much to look at exactly. It was just a small, brick building used as a shop, with a front door and one window by the door that I couldn't really see through. The sign over the door though was what made me grin. **Oaken's Chocolates.** I have to admit, chocolate was my guilty pleasure.

"I love chocolate, and most people do too, so I thought maybe you'd like some," Anna explained, studying my reaction.

I looked over at her. She was biting her bottom lip in the most adorable, innocent way. It made me smile a bit bigger.

"I love chocolate, too."

She smiled hugely then, her eyes even brightening. "Great! Then come on, you haven't even seen the inside yet."

Though it was a shock when she grabbed my hand, I couldn't help the pleasurable tingle that ran through me. _Wow. Her skin is just so soft._

She pulled me along behind her, opening the door for me. The second it opened, the wonderful aroma of chocolate hit me full force. It was absolute heaven. _Gosh, I've missed this smell._

We made our way inside, and it only took a second for my eyes to adjust to the darker setting, but the moment they did I was astounded.

There were boxes of chocolates lining the windows, the boxes designed for any and all occasions. Two giant fountains of chocolate, one white chocolate, the other milk chocolate, sat on tables in the middle of the room. Along the other tables sat assortments of treats, all chocolate. It was like Willy Wonka's factory, only real.

Behind the fountains stood a roundish counter, and behind that sat a short, pudgy man. He had light red hair, cut short with sideburns that lead to a mustache. His cheeks were pink, skin light, and his eyes were a bright and friendly shade of blue.

"Oh, Anna! How lovely to see you, ya. It's been a while. Who's your friend?" the man called.

Anna grinned and skipped over, pulling me along. "Hey, Oaken. This is Elsa. She's a coworker now."

"You got the job, ya? Good for you. I knew you could do it. But if you want my opinion, the way you cling to her it seems she's a bit more than that, ya?"

I felt my face go hot. _Does he mean that? Does it really look like she likes me?... **Wait, don't get your hopes up, dumbass. You know what happens when you do that**... I get hurt._

"Well she is a friend now," Anna said, letting go of my hand.

I felt my heart drop, but even with the disappointing answer I still missed her touch. It had been nice. And it didn't really help when Oaken gave me a pitiful look when Anna began looking over all the treats.

"Mmm, this all looks so good," Anna said. "Come on, Elsa. Find something you like. I'll pay."

That made me immediately shake my head. "No way. You're not paying for me. I got it, I do."

She scoffed and stood up straight, crossing her arms. "Nope. I'm paying."

"Ladies, may I intervene here, ya?" Oaken asked.

We both looked over at him. "Yes?" Anna asked.

"Tell you what, since you're my best customer, and I can tell Elsa is a chocolate lover herself, ya, I'll let you get a large box of chocolates to share for free."

Anna immediately shook her head, uncrossing her arms. "Oh, Oaken, I couldn't do that."

Oaken stood then, and I stared open mouth at him. _I_ was tall, but this guy, he was a giant. He must have been like seven feet tall, muscular it looked like beneath his sweater.

"I insist," he said politely, stepping from behind the counter toward the window. Anna followed after, still arguing. I had to admit, she had guts. I wouldn't have argued with the guy.

"Here, this should do," he said, handing Anna a surprisingly big box of chocolates.

She huffed but then grinned, throwing her arms around the guy's waist in a hug. He was surprised at first, but then hugged back. She barely came up to his chest.

"Thanks, Oaken. I'll be sure to come back. Won't you, too, Elsa?"

I nodded. "Y-yeah. This is a very comfy place. I'd love to come back some time."

The hug ended, and after a moment of goodbyes Anna and I headed out. I held the door for her both when we left the store and when we were entering the car. Once safely inside, Anna grinned at me.

"So, we have a giant thing of chocolates. Where do you want to go to eat them?"

I thought a moment, my neck heating up as one particular thought that I immediately pushed aside forced itself in my brain. "U-um, I'm not sure."

Anna shrugged and sat back. "Well it's up to you. I chose this place. So now it's your turn."

I thought another moment, chewing on my bottom lip. Then a thought hit me, and I smiled. _Perfect._

"Prepare to be amazed," I said, slipping the key into the ignition.

* * *

I'd decided to take her outside of the city. Or, more accurately, to look over the city. It was a place I'd been only twice before, a place that help both painful and wonderful memories. But, for an unknown reason it felt right to bring her here.

The moment we stepped out the car nostalgia hit me, bringing both the urge to smile and cry. But I did neither, instead walking to Anna who stared out in awe, clutching the box to her chest.

"Wow," she mused.

I grinned, offering my hand. "You haven't seen anything yet."

I was done standing in the corner only hoping for the best. I liked Anna, maybe more than she did me, but either way I was willing to take a chance. Being with her, it erupted a spark inside me that had once been dowsed and drowned by despair. I wouldn't let that slip out of my reach again. Not like before.

We stopped at the edge, staring down at the place we lived now. Anna smiled and took a deep breath of the air, taking the sight in completely.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered.

I looked at her and gently squeezed her hand, smiling an actual smile. "You are."

She blushed and cleared her throat. "Careful. After one compliment I expect them all the time."

I chuckled and let her hand go, sitting. "I'll keep that in mind then."

She sat down beside me, out feet dangling over the edge, and I bit my lip. Maybe this was a bit much. The setting sun, the view, the chocolates. Was she okay with this all?

"I've never been up here before. I'm glad you took me," she said. She surprised me by leaning against me.

 _Maybe... she actually likes me. I mean, it's not impossible._

"I've been up here twice. Once with my mother and once with... a friend," I said, swallowing. The truth was, it had been Belle. It had been where I'd first cried into her shoulder as I told her my life's story.

Anna didn't ask for clarification of the "friend" thing, and I was grateful for that. So far, she was staying true to her word about not prying, and I admired her for that. Not many would be that kind.

"Do you want a chocolate?" she asked.

I nodded, and she sat up to open the box. Though it was a little disappointing she'd moved away again, I understood why.

"Here," she said, smiling down at the little pieces once the container was open. I smiled to, smelling the wonderful fragrance. It was enchanting.

I reached down and took one, but waited for Anna to pop one in her mouth before doing the same.

"Mmm," she moaned, licking her lips. "I absolutely would marry chocolate if I could."

I chuckled and nodded. "Same."

We sat in a comfortable silent a bit longer, just enjoying the sweet treats and watching the sun set. It was magical. Not like fairy tale endings or true love or anything, but comforting and nice. As the sky grew darker, though, I knew our time was dwindling. I sighed, causing Anna to look over.

"What is it?" she asked, closing the box.

I looked out over the city, seeing the lights brightening as the sun's own light dispersed. I picked at my nail and shook my head.

"Anna, can I tell you something?"

She smiled lightly and nodded. "Of course. I said you could before."

I swallowed and ran a hand through my hair.

"The thing is, before tonight... Well before I met you, I hated my life. I live in a crummy apartment because the job I have pays little, I don't really have many friends because I isolate myself, and I'm an emotional wreck." Yeah, best way to win her heart is point out all the flaws. "But... when I met you, it just felt differently. I still have a crappy job and living quarters, still only really have Kristoff, still have a family I haven't spoken to in years. But, it's like things are better with you. When I'm with you, I don't feel so alone."

Anna listened silently as I spoke, and I was surprised when she placed a hand on my cheek, turning my face so I was looking her in the eye.

"Elsa, I'm not gonna lie to you. You're a mess." I winced but she smiled at me, showing it was okay. "But we all have baggage. We all have a past or even a present we're not proud of. I've got flaws just like you do. No one's perfect, Elsa. But sometimes people can live with others flaws. Sometimes that person is special to them, so they learn to accept. If you give me a chance, I believe I can learn to accept, too."

I was touched by her words. They affected me in a way I didn't understand, and I felt tears forming in my eyes. I fell forward, hugging her, and she hugged back, holding me, not questioning. Just being supportive. That's when I knew. I wasn't in love with this girl, not yet.

But I did know I wanted to be with her.

* * *

That night when I took her home I walked her up to the door, where she slipped the keys out her pocket and unlocked the door before turning back to me.

"Elsa, tonight was wonderful. I'd love if we could do this again."

I nodded, smiling. "I'd love that too. What do you say to dinner, Saturday?"

She giggled and gave a teasing look. "That's a bit soon after the first date, isn't it?"

I blushed and rubbed the back of my neck. "I-I mean, you don't have to or anything. It was only a suggestion."

Anna giggled again and stepped closer. "Don't worry, I want to. What time?"

I smiled. "U-um, what about eight?"

She nodded, closer now. "That sounds lovely."

I didn't have time to even think before her soft, delicate lips were against my own. It was sweet and short, but even after she pulled back I tasted her lip balm. _Wow..._

"Goodnight, Elsa," she said, backing up to the door, a smile on her face.

I stumbled back, my mind numb. "G-goodnight, Anna."

And as I drove back to Kristoff's to drop off the car, I knew I wouldn't forget. I could still feel the kiss, still smell the lavender shampoo she seemed keen on using.

Tonight, I think I'd finally broken out of my shell.

And I wasn't going back.


	6. In Her Arms

The week passed in a blur, the days seemingly shorter than ever before. Even though I was excited to see Anna again, I was also conflicted. For a while that dark side I'd let control me for so long was simply nagging, but as Friday rolled around it got to me again. I felt guilt consuming me as I thought back to that night. I liked Anna so much, for so many reasons. She was sweet and understanding and had her life together. She wasn't like me. Her world had always been secure and stable, not torn and rugged.

I felt guilt for even seeing her honestly. I hated it, I wanted to ignore it, but when I awoke Saturday morning and looked at myself in the mirror I saw someone still broken. Even if Anna did really like me would I put her through what I had Belle?

I shook my head and glared at myself in the mirror. **_Get over that already, you dumbass! You made a mistake then. Don't fuck everything up now. This girl likes you, and you like her. Don't let that slip away again._**

I swallowed back a lump that was forming and sighed, staring down at the white sink. _But am I doing the right thing? She deserves better than me... No._ I shook my head, looking back up at my reflection. _She doesn't deserve someone like me. And I don't deserve her. But I'm done cowering in a corner. I want to be happy again. And Anna makes me happy._

The smallest of smiles crawled across my lips, and I nearly scoffed at my own self. Screw it all. Everyone deserved a second chance, right?

I stood up straight and smiled fully. Tonight was going to be special. Just for Anna.

For us.

* * *

I was nervous as hell as I stepped out of my car (having finally gotten it back with a bill I'd be paying slowly for a month). I was dressed in the best dress I had, a dark blue one that ended above my ankles and made my waist seem thinner. I hadn't worn it in forever, but, surprisingly, it still fit. It hugged my curves a bit more than before, but was still comfortable. And, thank god, it had long sleeves to hide my scars and recent wounds. Of course the only pair of heels I had seemed to hate my feet.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to talk myself into going up to the door. _Come on, she's waiting for me. I don't want to make her think I baled on the second date._

Exhaling, I stepped from the car and made my way across the yard to the front door. Standing before it, I felt as jittery as before, but I found it easier to knock and let my presence be known this time.

It only took a second this time before Anna opened the door, and I swear my heart jolted.

She had her hair down this time, letting it cascade over her shoulders. The dress she wore was a light red, stopping just below her knees. She had on a pearl necklace, and I saw lipstick on her. I swallowed and couldn't help smiling. _Wow... She's so beautiful._

"Y-you look beautiful," I mumbled, stiffly shifting.

She giggled at my nervousness and stepped closer, standing on tiptoes to place a chaste, sweet kiss on my cheek, erupting a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. "And you look gorgeous," she said, stepping back and fully looking me over.

I shifted under her gaze and she looked back at my face, the normal smile spreading across her face. It was angelic.

"T-thanks," I answered, stepping back and looking down. "I, um... I made reservations for us at a restaurant I know. I-I mean, if you still wanna go."

She nodded and stepped out, closing the door behind her. I swallowed and cleared my throat.

"Don't you want a jacket or sweater? It's supposed to get cold," I commented, following her to the car.

She shrugged and stopped by the car. "Why would I get one when you can just hold me if I get chilly?"

I felt my face burn. _W-wow. She'd be okay with me holding her. God, this night can't get any better._

"Hey, didn't you have a different car last time?" she asked as I opened the door for her.

I nodded and rubbed the back of my neck. "Actually...I have to confess, that was my friend's car. You see, um, my car was in the shop, so he, uh, he let me borrow his. But this is really mine."

She grinned as she slipped in and I shut the door, hurrying to my side. Once I'd slipped inside and closed the door, reaching for my seat belt, she placed a hand on my thigh, making me nearly jump. I felt my neck and face heat up as I turned to face her. _Oh god, why'd she do that?_

"You could've told me, Elsa. I'd have picked you up instead," Anna said, her voice so sweet I swear I melted.

"Y-yeah, but I wanted to make you happy." I couldn't believe I was being so honest already.

She giggled and retracted her hand, sitting back in her seat. Though I missed the contact my heart slowed down enough I could breath. "I'm happy just being with you."

I felt my throat constrict. _Wow. **Don't you dare break down like you did before. You're a fool.** But she's so sweet to me. Do I really deserve that? **Of course you do. You deserve it tonight.**_

I smiled lightly as I turned the key in the ignition. "I feel the same."

* * *

During the drive Anna asked questions about me. About my family, my previous jobs, my hobbies. I only had one hobby, writing. But I'd never want Anna to read any of what I scribbled down. It was all dark, depressing things even I couldn't reread.

Though it was kind of sad our time alone came to an end as we parked in the restaurant's parking lot, I was slightly relieved. Anna's questions had been becoming more personal, and though I did like her I wasn't ready to vent just yet. Especially tonight. This was supposed to be special.

I opened her door for her, led her to the front doors, even held those open for her. The inside of that place was how I remembered it. Bright lights, red carpet, foreign paintings all over the place. Kai, the man who owned the place, stood behind the wooden pedestal, looking over the book of reservations.

He looked up when we entered and smiled. He was a tall, pudgy man in his late thirties. His brunette hair was almost gone, he'd been balding for a while. He had a rather large nose, and tended to frown a lot, but his blue eyes showed kindness, and he really was a sweet man.

"Elsa, there you are. It's been so long," he said, smiling at me.

I took Anna's hand and smiled back, walking forward. "Hey, Kai. How have you been?"

He shrugged and looked back at the tables, and I noticed there weren't many people here. "Business has been a bit slow ever since that new restaurant opened down the street. Apparently they sell exotic foods. But hey, I still have loyal customers."

I smiled lightly and nodded. "You know I'm loyal to the end, Kai."

He chuckled and looked back at us, finally looking Anna over. "Hello, young lady. And you may be?"

She grinned wide and curtsied. "Anna Arendelle. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

His eyes went wide. "Such manners. And an Arendelle, to boot. Why, that's practically royalty. Thank you for choosing my humble place to dine."

She shrugged and looked at me. "It looks lovely here. So bright and pretty."

I nodded and cleared my throat. "Kai, may we have a table preferably by the window?"

He nodded and stepped from behind the pedestal, motioning toward the tables. "Of course. Come with me. I'll have a waiter come over in just a moment."

We followed him to one of the farthest tables, by the window. We sat down and watched as he hustled along, then Anna's eyes fell out the window, looking at everything outside. Though I loved the view here, it being the reason I'd asked for this table, I couldn't help my eyes from straying to Anna. She was just too pretty not to gaze at.

"The view, it's lovely," Anna mumbled. I grinned. _Yeah, it is._

It was only a moment before a young waiter came over. He was dressed in the formal tux, his black hair cut short, a bright smile on his face. His teeth were slightly uneven, but his smile was wonderful regardless. His eyes, a dark brown, glowed. He was carrying two menus, which he placed before us.

"Hi, I'm Olaf. I'll be your server tonight. Please, take your time when choosing. But I assure you, everything here is amazing. Please, just call me back when you've decided on your meals." His voice was high, like he hadn't fully hit puberty yet, but he was kind. He turned and headed off afterwards.

I took one of the menus, handing the other to Anna, who took it with a "thank you".

"Please, order whatever you like. I'll pay for it," I told her as she opened her menu.

Her eyes immediately shot up though, wide. "No! I couldn't let you, Elsa. I'll pay for my own meal. Don't worry about it."

I shook my head and looked down at the assortment of foods. "No. I'm paying whether you like it or not and you can't change my mind."

Anna huffed and looked down. "Fine, meanie."

I chuckled and scanned the items, trying to decide. If I was splurging, could I afford something expensive? Maybe not... I wouldn't eat at all the rest of the month if I did that. Anna, knowing the paying arrangement now, seemed to study the menu even harder, mumbling to herself every now and again.

I rolled my eyes and decided on something light, laying my menu down and watching Anna still debate with herself. Finally she sighed and lowered her menu.

"What are you getting?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes and smiled lightly. "I was thinking about trout. Or, if you wanna be adventurous you can try blowfish. It's apparently a delicacy in Japan."

She smiled lightly and closed the menu. "Blowfish sounds expensive."

I nodded. "It is. The chefs have to be extremely trained and steady because it has a type of toxin all in its body that could kill you if ingested. So only the best chefs can be allowed to do it."

She furrowed her brow a moment and looked down, thinking. When she looked back up she smiled at me. "You know a lot about foods."

I felt my face flush. _Is she calling me fat? **Of course not. She wouldn't call you fat.** Really? That did sound like it though..._

I cleared my throat and looked down. "Y-yeah, I like food."

She giggled lightly. "Don't worry, I wasn't insulting you. I like food too."

I smiled lightly as I looked back up. "Have you decided yet?"

Anna nodded and raised her hand slightly, motioning. Almost instantly Olaf was by the table, taking the menus and safely tucking them under his arm, pulling out a pad and pen from his pocket.

"Wonderful, what would you guys like?" he asked.

"Um, the trout sounds lovely," I said. Olaf grinned wide and scribbled it down, then looked to Anna.

She smiled and looked right at me as she answered, "I'd like to try the blowfish, please."

Olaf's grin turned to a full smile. "Oh, how wonderful! It's absolutely amazing, I swear. I know the chef, and he is by far the best there is. You'll love it, I guarantee."

He turned and sauntered off toward the kitchen, and I couldn't help looking at Anna with curiosity. _She'd seemed to hate the thought of eating that. What made her change her mind?_

She saw my look and giggled. "Call me crazy, but it sounds so interesting. I wanna try it. And, if will, you'll try it too. Please." She gaze me the cutest pleading look I'd ever seen, and I melted.

 _No way I could say no to that._ I sighed and shrugged. "Why not?"

I swear the smile that formed on her lips could've split her face. "Thank you."

We only had to wait a few more moments before salads were served to us. We ate quietly, enjoying the comfort. After the salads we actually got what we ordered, and just the smell made my mouth water. It looked like heaven when the plate was sat before me. We ate part of that in silence, too, until Anna finally suddenly moved her fork to in front of my plate.

"Try it," she said happily. "It's absolutely delicious."

I chuckled and took the utensil, smelling it before I allowed it passed my lips. Honestly, it did smell pretty good. But the taste, oh, it was fantastic. "Mmm," I couldn't help moaning.

Anna giggled once more as I handed her back the fork. "Told you."

I smiled and looked down at my plate, biting my lip. I thought about what we'd talked about on the way over here, how she'd asked my all those questions. Then, it hit me that I knew so little about this girl. I knew she was two years younger than me, the daughter of the richest man in the city, now a secretary where I worked, and that she loved chocolate. Oh, and that she had no siblings and enjoyed risk taking.

"You know, I don't really know you," I said, setting my fork down and looking at Anna. She returned the gaze evenly and nodded.

"I know. Then ask anything. Whatever you wanna know, I'll tell."

I thought a moment. There was a lot I could ask. The basics seemed a good starting place though. "Okay, favorite color?

"Green."

"Favorite season?"

"Um... spring."

"Favorite genre?"

"Romance."

"Favorite music genre?"

"Either alternate rock or like old rock groups."

I smiled. This girl was full of surprises. "Favorite movie?"

She hesitated on that one, her brow furrowing. "Um... If I had to chose, I'd say either The Lord of The Ring series or Rec. The series because fantasy and wizards and hobbits and elves and dwarves are awesome. Rec because it was probably the scariest horror movie I've ever watched."

I chuckled. Fantasy. Of course. "Video game?"

She grinned and pointed to herself as she spoke. "I'm the ultimate champ at Call Of Duty."

I couldn't help laughing. I knew she wouldn't lie, but I just couldn't see her of all people playing COD. "Okay, what are your hobbies?"

She took a bite of her fish and chewed slowly, clearly thinking. "Hmm," she said after swallowing. "I collect really old coins. And I enjoy swimming."

I nodded. "How long have you been collecting the coins?"

She thought a moment and mumbled something to herself. "About eight, nine years, I think. Daddy introduced me to it."

I smiled and nodded. "Okay, so old coins is your thing."

She giggled. "Yep. If you find any let me know."

I looked back at my plate and smiled. "Duly noted, I assure you."

* * *

The rest of dinner passed quickly, and I learned a lot about her family. I paid for dinner, as I said I would, and she left a generous tip. We said bye to both Olaf, who seemed sad to see us go, and to Kai before heading out. I took her straight home; it was a little after ten when we got there, the drive taking the most time.

When we were at her front door I smiled lightly and cleared my throat, uncertain whether I should just go or not as she opened the door. I took so long trying to decide, though, that Anna had turned back to me before I could make up my mind.

"Thank you for tonight. I promise I'll make it up to you," she said, looking down.

I rolled my eyes. "You're not supposed to make up a date to someone unless it went bad. I think it was great though."

She looked back up at me, smiling lightly. "Then the least I could do is ask if you'd like to come inside."

My mind went into overdrive then.

 _Oh god, is she suggesting what I think she is? **She can't be, this is only the second date you idiot.** But maybe she's one of those that moves fast. I don't know if I'm ready for that... **Then say no nicely and leave.** But what if she takes it the wrong way and doesn't want to see me ever again?..._

I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Anna noticed, and her face went red, almost as red as her hair. She looked down immediately.

"T-that's not what I meant! I-I mean I like you and everything, and maybe that'll happen eventually, b-but I just meant you could come in to see my coin collection. Y-you seemed interested at dinner..." Her voice was small and worried, and I felt sorry.

I swallowed, relief washing over me though I also felt slight disappoint hitting me. "It's okay, I-I overreacted is all. I'd love to see your coins, if the offer still stands."

Anna looked back up, and though her face was still beet red, she nodded. "It still stands."

I did my best to smile lightly, motioning for her to step into the house. She did, leading the way. Though at first hesitant after the uncomfortable atmosphere, she eventually slowed so she was beside me, taking my hand as we headed for the stairs.

To say her house was huge would be an understatement of the century.

It didn't look like much from outside, but once you entered the place it was a palace. Bright white carpet lined the entire first floor, the wallpaper a light, pop-out shade of maroon. The best furniture and paintings and lambs and decorations money could possibly buy coated the place. There was even a fireplace in the living room.

The second floor was just as elegant and decorated as the first. There were at least five doors, nicely spaced from one another. We came to the second door on the left, and Anna smiled back at me as she opened it.

To say I was astonished couldn't begin to cover it correctly. The walls were a light shade of blue, the carpet a nice shade of navy. An oak wood desk stood in the corner, covered in papers. In the corner opposite the door sat a guitar case. And lining that whole wall was a glass case, filled with trophies of all sorts. Sports, work, music, everything.

"Wow," I muttered, staring in open mouthed wonder. I'd never won a trophy, so seeing so many in one place was amazing.

"They're all mine," Anna said, letting go of my hand to walk to the case. She pointed to different ones as she explained them. "Third grade, tennis. Fourth grade, volleyball. Second grade, choir. Seventh grade, guitar."

She turned back to look at me, a sad smile now on her lips. "I was good at everything daddy had me try. But I hated it. All the other kids called me a spoiled brat. They said I'd grow up to be a horrible person." She looked back at the case and sighed. "You know, I thought they were right for a while. I thought, because I won all those, I could do anything, be anything. But one year, when I didn't have any friends because people hated me, I realized none of it mattered. If I didn't have anyone, what was the point?"

I slowly walked over and wrapped her in a hug from behind. Her voice had been breaking near the end, like she was about to cry.

She sniffled and leaned against me. "I told daddy I didn't wanna win anything else, that I was happy being ordinary. He told me that it didn't matter whether I won or not. It was how I acted when I won. So I quit being a bitch. I didn't brag or show people these. And slowly, I gained friends. I was happy."

I smiled and kissed her head. "Sweetheart, sometimes we have to learn lessons the hard way. All that matters is who you are now. Not who you were before."

She turned in my arms and hugged me, throwing her arms around my neck. I stiffened at first, the sudden change unexpected. But slowly I relaxed and hugged back, pulling her close and reveling in the warmth of her touch, the sweet smell of lavender in her hair. It was intoxicating.

Finally though, I realized the length of the hug, and smiled. "Anna, didn't you wanna show me coins?"

Anna pulled away almost immediately, her smile back. "Right! Sorry, they're over here. Stay right here."

I missed the contact, but I was glad she was happy again. I waited patiently as she sat in the chair by the desk and opened a drawer, producing a rather large, wooden box. She smiled again as she closed the drawer and stood, walking back over.

"This is it. I have almost two hundred," she said, opening the box for me to see.

I stared open mouthed. There were coins of all sizes and color, some older than others. They all had a different design on them, like a building or person or animal. And some of the dates engraved on them shocked me. _They made coins in 1879?_

"Wow, that's awesome," I said.

Anna nodded in agreement and lowered the box. "For a while me and daddy collected them together. Now it's just me. But, if you'd like, since you seem interested, maybe you'd give it a try, too?"

I couldn't help smiling. "Of course."

Anna grinned and nodded, closing the box and slipping it beneath her arm. "Great! Then I hereby instate you my new coin partner."

I laughed and sighed, shaking my head. "Anna, you're something else."

She shrugged and raised her eyebrows. "What's the fun in being the same as everyone else."

I don't know what came over me, but I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. "Touche, my dear," I said, before leaning down and kissing her gently.

She relaxed beneath my touch, and I felt like I was floating. Anna really was something else.

And I loved it.


	7. Too Far?

"Rum and coke," I ordered with a grin.

Kristoff smiled back and tossed the bar rag over his shoulder. "Coming up. With or without the lime?"

I thought a moment, then shook my head but smiled brighter. "Nah, no lime."

He chuckled and reached down for a highball glass. "Gosh, I haven't seen you this upbeat since... well, ever. Been bit by the love bug?" He placed the glass down then leaned against the counter, raising his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes but felt my neck heat up. "No, so shut up and make my drink, dumbass."

He nodded and stood up straight, heading for the bottles. "Okay, whatever you say."

I watched as he grabbed a bottle of rum then coke, smiled as he walked back. He laid down the bottled then reached for the ice, filling it to the top before pouring the actual liquids and pushing it to me.

"Okay, won't admit it just yet. So what's happened so far then? You gotta tell me something." He leaned back against the counter as I took a small sip of my drink.

I cleared my throat and picked at the bar top. "Well, we've been on two dates. The first one you had me tell you about. But the second one, it was better. I took her to dinner at this place I know, and she loved it. I learned a lot about her. Like, her favorite color is green and she's big on first person shooter games."

He nodded. "Yeah, and? What about after dinner?" I rolled my eyes again, knowing exactly what he was after.

"Come on, Krist. It was the second date. I didn't sleep with her."

He scolded and stood up. "I wasn't heading there," he said, but I could hear the amusement in his voice.

I giggled and fingered the rim of my glass. "Yeah, sure. You're just wondering when I start exaggerating on how well she is."

He chuckled and shrugged innocently. "You know me so well."

I stayed in the bar about another half hour before telling Krist I better go. We said our goodbyes then I left, heading home. But as I drove through the always crowded streets, I found myself smiling at an idea.

 _Maybe... No, that'd be weird, wouldn't it? No, it'd be sweet. I don't know... Oh hell with it, I'm going to!_

I found myself pulling beside the curb, cutting off my engine. A part of me still argued as I stood before the small shop, but I could've cared less. **Oaken's Chocolates,** Anna's favorite. It would be perfect.

Stepping into the store, I was once more greeted by the cool air and mouth watering smell of chocolate. It all looked as amazing and as appetizing as before. And Oaken sat behind the counter once again, writing something down. He looked up when he heard the door open, and a smile spread across his face.

"Elsa, correct, ya? I knew you'd be back." There was genuine joy in his voice.

I walked toward the counter, a giant, probably stupid looking grin on my lips. "Hi, Oaken. There's something I need. Something big."

He nodded and dropped the pen, giving me his full attention now.

"It was obvious Anna's been here before. So you must know her favorite thing to buy," I mused.

He nodded again and smiled wider, though I didn't think it possible. "Oh ya, I certainly do! She's my best customer."

I felt my stomach flip. "That's wonderful. Then all I need is you to tell me and I can surprise her with it."

He nodded vigorously and jumped up, and I was amazed once more at his size. But then he paused and wriggled his eyebrows at me. "Funny how just a friend does this, ya?"

I chuckled and shrugged. "Yeah."

* * *

The next stop was a flower shop, where I picked up a bouquet of lilies (roses just seemed too cliche). I was kind of worried about those though. What if she hated lilies, or was allergic? I swear I spent twenty minutes in that place trying to decide.

But finally I stood before Anna's door, my heart a flutter, palms moist, mouth dry. _Will she be okay with this? I mean, I am showing up unexpected. And, who's to say she even really wants to see me?_

I bit my tongue and thought over that. Maybe... No. I shook my head fiercely. _No, I can't think like that. Look, you've been on two dates. Obviously this girl really likes you. Why can't you just be happy?_

And I wanted to be. More than anything.

So I took a deep breath to calm, then rang the doorbell.

Every second that ticked by might as well have been an eternity. Every breath I took might as well have been my last. I lost track of time as I stood, staring at white wood, twirling the flowers around to have some sort of distraction.

And then the door opened, and I could've fainted in happiness.

"Elsa?" a small voice said in surprise, though happiness was there as well. Anna pulled the door open the rest of the way, smiling gorgeously at me.

I melted under the teal gaze before me. She wore a baggy green sweater, gray sweatpants, and gray socks. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail. But even in such a casual state, she might as well have been the most beautiful queen.

"H-hey," I said. _Damn, still stuttering like a moron. I really need to stop that._

Anna stepped out and wrapped me in a quick hug that left me light headed before pulling back to look at the gifts in my hands. "Lilies?" she asked, crossing her arms, "and dark chocolate? Elsa, if I didn't know any better you're either trying to seduce me or ask me to marry you."

I felt my face go red, literally. I felt the rush of blood go straight to my cheeks, and I looked down. _Geez, why does she have to say things like that?_

She giggled and uncrossed her arms. "Come on, I was only kidding. Are they for me though?"

I was pretty sure talking to answer was out of the question, so instead I nodded and handed them over. She took them gratefully and raised the flowers to her nose, breathing in.

"Oh, Elsa. How did you know these were my favorite?"

I smiled lightly and rubbed the back of my neck. "Um, lucky guess?" _So glad I didn't get roses now._

She giggled again and stepped to the side, motioning in. "You wanna come in?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, stepping past her. Though the scenery was worth marveling once more, my eyes remained glued to Anna. The way she moved when she walked forward after shutting the door. The way she motioned for me to follow. The way her hips naturally swayed... It was intoxicating.

All I knew for sure was we climbed steps, then walked a ways down the hall. I didn't really take my eyes of the dazzling woman before me until she reached for the handle to a white wood door with her free hand and pushed it open. The sight inside was spectacular.

A giant queen-size bed took up the left side, along with a small wooden desk that held a lamp, papers, and a laptop. Another long table lay on the right beside a walk-in closet (which was open and full of clothes, possibly enough to open your own shop), and a dresser that held on top perfumes and lotions, every kind imaginable. On the table were a ton of fluffy (and in my opinion creepy) stuffed animals. The window curtains were a shade of violet. The walls were a lavender, and the floor was a maroon shade.

"Wow," I breathed, stepping in the room. I couldn't believe it. _Is this... her bedroom? It's almost as big as my apartment alone..._

"Yeah, lovely, isn't it? I decorated this room all myself. I picked out the wallpaper, the curtains, where things went. It's where I stay when I'm here. Since mom and dad don't really live here anymore," Anna said, walking toward her desk.

I watched silently as she laid my gifts beside her laptop, careful about the flowers. She seemed to smiled to herself before turning back to me and motioning toward the bed. "Come on, sit," she commanded, walking over to do the same.

I followed her word and slowly walked further into the room, looking around more as I sat on the edge of the bed. Her sheets were a beautiful, vibrant shade of purple, her many pillows matching. Judging from the size, I swore at least four could sleep comfortably on it together.

"Why are you so far away?" Anna asked, scooting closer to me.

I hadn't really given much thought to the distance when I sat, but I realized I had sat practically on the edge, as far from her as possible. That was partially nerves, partially my screwed up mind thinking of things given the scene.

I cleared my throat uneasily and moved closer, but it wasn't enough for. She rolled her eyes and scooted until we were shoulder to shoulder, leaned her head against my neck.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" she asked, and though I heard the playful tone and knew it was simply a tease, I felt my stomach flip.

"N-no, not uncomfortable," I answered.

She sighed and closed her eyes, relaxing against me. For a long moment, I remained stiff, unsure. But as the peaceful silence held, I relaxed as well. There was no reason I shouldn't.

"Elsa?" she called quietly.

I kissed the top of her head gently. "Yes?"

She snuggled against me, holding on to my arm. "It feels nice to have you here. With me, I mean. I miss you when you're gone."

I felt my throat constrict. _God, this girl knows how to pull on the strings of my heart, that's for sure._ "Y-yeah, I-I feel the same," I said quietly, swallowing hard.

I believe she heard the emotion in my voice, because she looked up at me, worry in her eyes, as if she were afraid she'd said something wrong. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?" she asked.

I smiled as best I could and shook my head. "N-no, not at all."

Anna pulled away, then turned to me, and the expression on her face was one I didn't recognize, couldn't place. "Elsa, your eyes are watering."

I went to wipe at my eyes almost immediately, panicking. _**Damn it! Why the hell can't you have one day with her without feeling like you're going to break down or actually doing it?** I-I'm trying..._

And suddenly soft hands cupped my cheeks, pulling my face down. My eyes met bright teal ones and delicate thumbs wiped at falling tears. She didn't speak, not with words, but her eyes spoke for her. 'It's okay, I understand. Don't feel bad about crying.'

I smiled lightly and opened my mouth to speak, and I was suddenly being drawn forward, and my my lips connected to warm, soft ones. I froze for only a moment before giving over. Even my thoughts stopped.

One gently kiss turned into many, heated ones. She attacked my lips, nipping occasionally, and one hand ran up my back as her fingers tangled in my hair. I pulled her closer, passion and desire mixed. Whether it was from my emotional state of mind or how fucking delicious her lips were, I wanted her then and there.

My tongue eagerly pressed against her lips, and she immediately allowed me entrance. I explored, running my tongue over the back of her teeth and wrestling against her own. She moaned quietly and her hands suddenly gripped my wrists, hard, and I felt myself fall back before a light, hot body was over top me. Her hands traveled up and down from my ribs to my waist, and I felt high, intoxicated by the feelings, by the heat.

But then my brain started working, and ruined it all.

 _ **What the fuck are you doing?! Stop it before it goes any furth-**_

That thought was quickly interrupted by a gently, very pleasant squeeze on my breasts. I moaned into the kiss, clenching my fists.

But my brain had been right. Fighting off every urge to say "screw it" and let what happened happen, I pulled back from the kiss. My breathing was surprisingly heavy, as was Anna's, and she looked as dazed as I felt.

I swallowed and cleared my throat. That seemed to be enough to clear Anna's mind, as her eyes suddenly went wide, and she jumped up and off me so fast I was surprise she didn't fall backwards.

"O-oh god, I-I'm so sorry, Elsa! I-I didn't, I-I mean I..."

I sat up and swallowed again. Anna's face was red, like beet red. She looked more embarrassed than even I did.

"I-it's okay," I said, squeezing my hands together.

She looked away and I immediately regretted it all. **_You idiot! How could you have let it go that far? She probably regrets it, and you'd deserve it!_**

 _No, no, I can't believe that. That was... amazing. She can't regret that, can she?'_

"Elsa?" Anna's voice was soft and worried, breaking me from thought.

I looked up quickly and smiled lightly. "Yeah?"

Anna bit her lower lip and seemed lost in thought a moment. "Do you... I mean, after..." She seemed so determined to find the right phrase, yet it also seemed to be upsetting her.

"Hey, it's okay." I hoped I sounded as gentle and reassuring as I was going for.

She looked me over and sighed, running a hand through her hair and sitting back on the bed. I was a little shocked when she sat as close as before, though definitely not upset by it.

"Do you regret it?" she finally asked in almost a whisper.

I didn't hesitate before shaking my head. "No, I don't," I answered honestly. But then, a bit more cautiously, I asked, "Do you?"

Anna smiled lightly and shook her head. "Not at all. I just freaked out because I thought you'd be mad. I mean, it's obvious you have all these walls and everything up, and I was scared I'd crossed one without meaning to."

I nodded, understanding her thoughts. I did have a lot of barriers inside. That was one of the major problems about me.

I leaned back on my hands and sighed. "Anna, I don't want you to worry about that. Any of it. If something does start happening that I don't think is right or that I can't handle, I'll tell you."

She seemed to think over that, then she grinned at me. "Well if this wasn't a problem, then why'd you stop me?" I knew she was just teasing, but even so I bit my lip.

"Because... It's too soon," I answered honestly.

Anna's grin faltered, but it was quickly heightened. "Okay. I understand."

I leaned back up and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Good."

She leaned back slowly as well and looked out the window. I hadn't really paid much attention to time, but apparently the sun was setting by now. Anna looked back at me.

"How long are you staying?" she asked.

I shrugged and smiled. "As long as is okay."

She giggled and leaned back forward, then moved so her head was on my lap as she laid across the bed. "Then you'll be here a while."

I chuckled and moved a stand of loose hair off her forehead. "That's fine with me."

* * *

 **Hey guys! Really quick I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about not updating my other story as often as this one but I'm kinda stuck and it's frustrating. Believe me, I'm not giving up yet (: just a bit of annoyance. So yeah, when inspiration and an idea hits me I'll update "Melting Snowflakes"!**

 **Thanks for all the support!**


	8. Wanting and Waiting

Dance clubs. Not my favorite places.

Anna bumped into me as she swayed her hips, smiling at how uncomfortable I obviously was. "You okay?" I made out over the screaming speakers.

 _God, why couldn't we have gone anywhere except here? This is hell..._

"Yeah, this is fun!" I shouted back as best I could, feigning a smile.

Anna grinned brighter and grabbed my hands, making me sway with her. It was beyond uncomfortable. Anyone who knows me (which limits to very few but still) knew I couldn't dance right to save my life. I might as well have been born with two left feet, that's how stupid I looked.

"Come on, please dance. I know you don't really like this but I'll make this up to you!" she hollered over the music.

I sighed but smiled for real. _Okay, fine. If it'll make you happy._ I made a face and wriggled my upper body. Anna broke into a fit of giggles, and though I couldn't hear it I knew it was adorable.

"What are you doing?" she asked, leaning in closer to be heard.

"You said dance, so I am," I replied. It only made her giggle worse.

The entire dance floor was flashing a mixture of lights; red, yellow, and blue mixed. People were all around us, dancing, laughing, drinking. Aside from the floor was a bar in the corner, and a few tables, though only a few people sat there. I didn't blame them. It was too loud for real conversations or anything.

"What do you wanna do after this?" Anna asked into my ear, sending a chill down my spine because of the heat of her breath.

"I-I don't know," I said.

Anna smiled and grabbed my hand, pulling me through the crowd. I happily went with her, glad to finally be out of that place. But believe me, trying to get out of there without bumping into people was impossible. I said sorry like fifty times before we finally closed the doors behind us.

A cool breeze greeted us, nice considering the temperature it had been in there. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the air. Music still blared from inside, but with a closed door and walls now separating our ears from the speakers, it wasn't nearly as bad. My ears rang slightly though.

Anna grinned at me and stepped up on tiptoes, placing a quick kiss on my cheek. "It was obvious you hated that. So thank you for trying to enjoy it."

I smiled lightly. _Well you're worth it._ "Of course."

She squeezed my hand lightly. "Come on. Where do you wanna go now?"

I furrowed my brow and reached into my pocket, pulling out my phone and turning it on. _10:37. I guess this dates over._ "I'll drive you home." I smiled lightly. "It's getting late."

She frowned and took my phone, groaning when she read the time. "I don't want you to go though."

I cleared my throat, my cheeks heating up. "I don't wanna leave, either, but neither of us can control time."

Anna huffed and nodded, pulling me toward the car. "I know."

The drive to her house was surprising quiet. I was slightly worried I'd done something wrong. The whole time I argued with myself, until we finally pulled into her drive.

I went ahead and cut off the engine, and we continued to sit in silence. Anna unhooked her seat belt but made no move to get out of the car. I fidgeted; _was this my fault? Should I say something?_

"Um, tonight wa-"

A pair of soft, gentle hands cupped my face, taking me by surprise. My head turned automatically, and Anna's lips sought out my own. I melted beneath her touch, relaxing and enjoying.

She nipped at my bottom lip, her hands going to the back of my neck and entangling in loose hair that hung from my braid, keeping me in place. I groaned quietly, seeking out and undoing my seat belt to turn slightly and have a more comfortable angle. I gripped her waist, pulling her body closer. My mind shut down again.

She nipped fiercely at my lip, making my gasp, and as soon as my lips parted she shoved her tongue inside, dominating me quickly. I couldn't help the desperate moan that came from me; I couldn't think about anything other than _Anna._ The feel of her hands running up me, the heat of her breath against my lips. The way she moaned when I pressed her back against the car door.

"Elsa," she purred into my ear as I attacked her neck.

I nipped and sucked at her pulse point, loving the sounds she was making. I shuddered as her fingers tangled in my hair, refusing to let me go. I had no idea what was going on, whether this was good or bad, but it sure as hell felt right.

"Elsa," she groaned again, a bit louder. "Please..." Her voice was thick with lust, and something finally registered in my head.

I pulled back abruptly, startling both of us. Anna stared through half closed eyes, practically panting. I swallowed and moved back to my side, studying Anna's reaction.

 ** _Geez, what the hell are you doing? You've been down this road before! Why the hell can't you do anything right?_**

 _She did start it... And she seemed to enjoy it. The way she's looking at me now suggests it._

 ** _But you haven't been with her long enough for this! If you jump right in, what do you think'll happen? You'll go believing she loves you then wind up tossed aside again._**

 _No, she's different. I know it._

"Elsa? Are you okay?" a soft voice cut in.

I looked up quickly, meeting teal eyes. Though desire still darkened them, worry kept any and all actions at bay. She saw I was conflicted.

"I know. I'll wait as long as you need, Elsa. I just... I get carried away sometimes," she said quietly, looking away.

I shook my head and immediately took her hand. "No, don't feel bad! I-it's okay. I just freaked out a little, that's all." I looked down at my hands, now securely in my lap.

She smiled lightly and turned toward me, taking my hands. "Hey, look at me."

I complied after a moments hesitation. "Yeah?"

She squeezed my hands lightly. "I know you're worried. I can see it in your actions every time we're together. And it's not just when things start becoming... more intimate." Her cheeks reddened slightly but she didn't stop. "It's all the time. It's like you think over everything before you say or do it, like I'm going to leave the moment I see all those flaws you warned me about our first date."

I smiled slightly. _God, you really are too good for a woman like me. Why can't you see you deserve more?_

She lifted one hand and placed a gentle kiss against my knuckles. "I care about you, Elsa. I'm not leaving just because you have flaws. I told you before, I care about you for you. Not the you you pretend to be for the sake of others." She smiled. "And don't you dare start apologizing either, for anything."

I smiled back, though my eyes burned with unshed tears. But I pushed them back. _No, there's no need to cry. Not with Anna here._

I caught her off guard when I suddenly threw my arms around her, though she quickly hugged back. "Thank you," I mumbled against her shoulder.

"Don't thank me," she replied, hugging tighter.

I pulled back but placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I should probably go. We both have work in the morning," I mumbled, tracing a design on the inside if her palm.

She shook her head, kissing my gently again. "No, please don't go," she murmured back.

I chuckled and kissed her again. "But work. I need to get home so I can sleep."

Another kiss. "Sleep here."

My neck immediately felt on fire at her words. _Sleep...Here? With her?_

I swallowed and looked her in the eye. There was no hidden suggest, no tease. She was serious, and waiting for an answer.

"I-I don't know," I said, though unable to pull back.

Anna smiled and kissed my nose. "Please, please, please. It'll be like a sleep over. And my bed is big enough. And we work in the same place, so I could drive you since you've been the one driving on all our dates." She pouted so adorably I didn't know if I had the heart to say no.

 ** _You're kidding, right? After what just happened you're considering staying over?_**

 _Well she does make an offer that's hard to refuse._

 ** _You're a moron. Just see where that leads you to._**

 _It won't lead anywhere. We've talked it over. She said she understood. I trust her._

I smiled gently and nodded. "Okay, what could the harm be?"

* * *

It was nearing midnight before we finally slipped into bed. Anna had lent me one of her nightgowns (I think she purposefully gave me one that only came to my knees), and we established a few boundaries for the night. Like no kissing in bed for fear of where that would lead.

I was worried though. One of the things I'd been hiding this whole time was my scars. I was scared as I stood before her, dressed in only my under garments and her pink gown. I didn't know what she'd think.

But instead of commenting she simply raised out her hand for me to take, smiling. She was in a light blue gown that showed off her legs nicely; they were toned and tanned beautifully. Her hair fell loosely around her shoulders.

"Come on. We need to sleep," she said, and I reluctantly took her hand, being pulled to the bed.

Her bed was soft and comfy, sheets warm and inviting. I felt surprising drowsy the moment my head hit the pillows. It was like floating, but, without the height so no fearful drop. This definitely felt nothing like my sad accuse for a bed back in my apartment.

"Are you asleep yet?" Anna whispered about five minutes after we'd laid down.

I hesitated, wanting nothing more than to sleep but feeling guilty about even thinking about ignoring her. "Not yet."

"Good. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I managed, stifling a yawn.

She hesitated, I saw her bite her lip. "How do you feel about snuggling?"

I rubbed my eye and smiled lightly. "If you wanna snuggle we can, Anna."

She grinned and almost immediately began wriggling over. It took a moment, but soon she was burying her face against my hair and huddling down against me. I wrapped an arm around her, holding her close. It felt... right. Comfortable. Like it was a normal thing.

"Thank you," she mumbled against the pillow and my hair.

I leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead. "Of course."

The warmth and security of it all got to me. Before I knew it I was slipping into unconsciousness. And it somehow felt right that the last thing that crossed my mind, that lay before me, was Anna.


	9. All In

I freaked out when I woke up. My eyes opened slowly, weak against the sunlight pouring in through the window. Over head, a canopy? _That wasn't there before. Come to think of it... the bed sure is soft..._

I jerked up, confused and worried. This wasn't my room. But, then I caught sight of Anna beside me, and everything made sense.

I couldn't help giggling at her. She lay twisted in the sheets, snoring lightly. Her hair, if you could even call it that at this point, looked wild, like it'd never seen a brush or comb in its life. It was an... interesting to say the least thing to wake up to.

I sighed and stretched, listening for the satisfying 'pop' that told me it was okay. I yawned again and rubbed my eyes, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. But then I started thinking.

This was Anna's house. I didn't have my tooth brush, so I couldn't brush my teeth. And I couldn't fix breakfast. And I couldn't take a shower. There was nothing I could do besides wait for Anna to get up.

Then another thought hit me. _Work._ Wasn't that the reason I even stayed over?

"Anna! Wake up!" I groaned, shaking her shoulder and mentally freaking. _God, my boss is going to kill me. Say goodbye to life..._

Anna groaned and pushed my hand away, curling into a fetal position. "No, five more minutes," she mumbled, pulling the covers practically over her head.

"Anna, we're late! Come on, get up!" I huffed, jerking the sheets off her.

She gasped and hugged herself, glaring through half-lidded eyes. "No we're not," she mumbled.

"Yes we are! Get up, now! Imma use your shower. Where are your bathroom necessities?"

She groaned and rolled over, her back now facing me. "Shampoos and body lotions are in a bag literally hanging in there. And towels and clothes are in the small storage closet beside the bathroom."

I smiled lightly and leaned down, placing a chaste kiss against her temple. "Thanks."

She grunted in acknowledgement as I stood from the bed, hurrying out the room. _Okay, the bathroom was the second on the left._ I walked down to it, for the first time noticing there was a smaller door. I opened it and found myself staring at at least five racks of towels and clothes, all different colors and sizes.

Hoping to not disturb anything, I grabbed a plain blue towel on top and a white clothe, then shut the door and hurried into the bathroom. I checked the shower to find the bag Anna had said was there clearly there. I grabbed it and laid it on the sink, pulling out a bottle of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I wasn't a fan of lotions.

It felt kinda awkward stripping in the new environment, and as I cut the shower on I felt a chill. I didn't wait for the water to warm, cold was fine. I just jumped right under the stream, enjoying the water hitting my bare skin. I simple stood there a moment before remembering I needed to hurry.

I was lathering up the body wash when I heard a gentle knock on the door. Out of instinct I hugged myself, though no one else was even in here yet. "Yes?" I called out.

The door opened a crack and Anna peaked her head in. Her hair actually looked like hair now. "Um..." She seemed lost for words and looked down, and even through the shower door I knew she was blushing.

"What is it?"

She fidgeted a moment then stepped inside, and I was slightly surprised to see nothing but a towel covering her. "Listen, I get if this is a problem, but it'd be quicker if we... you know..."

She didn't have to finish. My face felt like I'd just gotten the worst sun burn of my life. _Oh wow... She wants to bathe together..._

"O-okay," I managed.

She looked up in surprise. "Really?"

I shifted and looked down at the drain, watching as water and a few suds drifted down. "Y-yeah... Just, please don't look at me."

She nodded and I turned back to the water as she laid down her towel. I heard the door slide shut behind her as she climbed into the shower behind me. I swallowed uneasily and shifted so she could get by to the water as I washed myself.

She stayed true to her word. Though I took a few peeks (just to see if she was looking, I didn't see anything other than her backside), she didn't seem to once break her word. At least she was trustworthy.

I let her slip out first, and she handed me my towel so we could both dry without seeing one another. After what seemed like an eternity of very uncomfortable silence, I stepped out the shower, covered by my towel.

"You need clothes?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes, please."

She finally smiled at me again, took my hand. "Come on. I'm sure I have to have something that'll suite you."

 _God that was uncomfortable._ She pulled me behind as we headed for her room. _She didn't seem to mind but I feel like she's disappointed slightly._

She closed the door behind us and literally skipped to the closet, pulling open the doors. I gaped at all the clothes; they all looked like designer styles, costing a fortune. To be honest, I guess I was slightly jealous.

"Here," she said, handing me a plain white, long sleeve t-shirt and jeans. "Underwear is in the dresser."

"Thanks," I mumbled, then turned and shuffled to the dresser.

When I pulled open the drawer, I felt my face burn. _Should I really be looking here?_ There were bikinis, tiny under pants, even thongs. I don't know why, but I found myself holding a pair up. _Oh god, please tell me she's never actually worn these._

"Oh, so that's what you're into," I heard Anna's voice behind me.

I immediately dropped the garment and turned, ready to defend myself. "N-no, i-it's not li..." But my mouth just hung when I saw her.

She'd let the towel fall from around her. I could see every ounce of bare flesh, fully exposed to my wandering eyes. I tried to keep my eyes up, but they wandered down. I took in her perfect, small breasts and pink nipples, the curve of her hips. The smooth, tan color of her skin completely. And the small red curls that led down to her womanhood, inviting.

I looked away, ashamed of the way my centre started burning. Ashamed of the thoughts that overtook me. **_God, get your mind outta the gutter._** _She's right there. I could easily..._ _ **Don't you fucking dare you pervert.** If she didn't want it she could stop me. **No, you'd be taking advantage of her...**_

"I was just teasing," she said with a small grin, crossing her arms. "Don't be so uptight."

I swallowed uneasily and hugged my towel tighter to my body, trying and failing to ignore the ache between my thighs. "Sorry," I muttered, stepping out of her way.

She obviously noticed my discomfort and looked down at herself. "Am I really that unappealing?..."

"N-no!" I said immediately, my head shooting up. "O-of course not!"

She studied my face and smiled lightly. "Then it's just the fact I'm naked, right?"

I swallowed again and nodded, looking back down. "Y-yeah, I guess..."

Her hands suddenly cupped my face, and my eyes shot up to meet teal orbs. "I'm not scared, Elsa. Why are you?"

My throat constricted, and I wanted to cry. So much for keeping together while around her. Ha, like that had been accomplished at all.

"I...I don't want to hurt you," I breathed, remembering Belle. Always. She was always what I went back to.

Anna's eyes grew dark, and her next words were deep, real. "You won't."

And then I was being pulled into the deepest, passionate kiss I'd felt. Her lips ravaged my own, her tongue feverishly attacking my own when I moaned and she slipped it past my lips. The towel fell from around me, lost behind as I pushed her back and we stumbled to the bed. Our moves were uncertain and clumsy, yet I felt more alive than I ever had. For the fleeting moments of our passionate embrace, everything vanished, and I wasn't scared.

We fell to the bed in a tangled heap, my hands searching for and finding the gorgeous mounds of flesh that brought pleasure to Anna when I squeezed. "Oh, Elsa," she breathed as I nipped and licked her pulse point, my hands busy squeezing and playing. Her fingers entangled in my hair, legs wrapping around me and pulling me down. Her soft noises were enough to assure me.

But I didn't want to go fast. No, if this was really happening I wanted to show her with every action what she meant to me. I removed my hands, placing them by her head as I gently kissed her freckles individually, savoring the feel of her soft skin. She sighed against my neck as I gently nibbled her ear, breathing in the scent of lavender that was intoxicating.

One of her hands gently stroked my arm, up and down, and the other played with loose strands of hair that fell, still damp. I lifted up and stared into her eyes, something inside warm. There was something there, just behind the lust that was clear, something I couldn't place but made me feel alive in a way I'd never experienced.

"Anna, whatever you want, I'll do. Just tell me," I breathed.

She smiled up at me and brought my head down, our lips meeting for a sweet kiss, and I closed my eyes. Suddenly I was being pushed aside, and my back met the soft cushion of the bed. Anna sat atop me, straddling me, her fingers tracing my collarbone.

"Don't speak, love. Just go with it," she answered.

I nodded and gasped as she leaned down, kissing one breast gently. She took my nipple into her mouth, rolling it with her tongue and making me shudder. My hands sought out and clung to the bed sheets, my back arched. I felt myself growing hot.

Her fingers gentle pinched and rubbed my other nipple, not letting it feel left out. I groaned quietly, forcing myself to stay quieter. God, I didn't want to ruin this now. Only a few moments spent on each mound of flesh, and yet by the time her tongue darted down, following an invisible path down my stomach, I wanted nothing more than the pleasure I knew was to come.

She circled my navel slowly, agonizingly so, drawing it out. "Please," I heard, yet I couldn't believe it came from me.

She grinned up at me and placed her hands on my inner thighs, pushing them apart. Her tongue then lips greeted my bare thigh, and with each flick then kiss her face grew closer to my private sanctum. I knew I was wet, and though the thought was slightly embarrassing I didn't dare speak.

A hot breath exhaled against the sensitivity of my flesh brought a shudder, and I shut my eyes tight, swallowing and clutching the sheets tighter. And then her tongue darted out, sliding up my folds so gently yet purposefully, and I gasped as a new wave of heat hit me.

"Oh," I breathed out, biting my lip immediately after as she gently kissed then parted the skin with her fingertips.

Her touch made me shiver, but when her tongue suddenly assaulted my clit, her teeth grazing it, I bucked. "God," I cried, surprised at my own self. But I couldn't help it, any more than I could entangling my fingers in her soft hair as she continued. She moaned against my centre, making me take a shaky breath.

God, I couldn't remember when I'd felt a woman's touch do this to me. Send me so close to the edge, just to stop me from reaching climax as her tongue stopped, and she pushed up, kissing up along my hip bone.

I breathed shakily, my legs quivering, my body screaming for some sort of release. I felt disappointed at such a stopping point.

"Wha..." I began, to have a finger press against my lips, silencing me.

"Shh, this isn't over yet," she breathed against my cheek, placing a chaste kiss.

I nodded in understanding, and pulled her in for a hard kiss, reveling as I tasted myself on her tongue. Her fingers danced down my abdomen, sending jolts throughout me. I realized what she was doing, and didn't dare stop her. The moment her fingers reached the destination, I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling her palm being pressed against me, circling to bring pleasure. And then in slipped one digit, then another.

I gasped and grabbed her shoulders, then hugged her close, burying my face against her neck. I bit my tongue to quiet myself.

She growled in my ear and shoved in deeper. "Dammit, Elsa," she growled, "fucking moan. I want to hear you. I want to hear you scream my name."

I cried out as she pulled out just to shove in again, harder. This time, I didn't stop the moans that over took me as I shut my eyes tight. I was sure I was louder than necessary, but I couldn't stop once I started. Pressure started building in my gut, and my breathing hitched. My thighs quivered.

"Anna!" I heard myself shout, and colors danced in my vision. Everything went black a moment, and I felt more relaxed than I ever had.

Slowly, very slowly, the world around me returned. I found myself slightly stiff, sore almost, but nothing else mattered except the beautiful redhead above me, breathing almost as heavy as I.

"Oh, Anna," I whispered, pulling her down into a hug. "Oh god, I love you," I breathed.

I don't know if she heard me; I didn't care. It didn't matter that she didn't say it back. I was to breathless to think much.

Slowly she crawled off me, laying next to me. She gently pushed a loose strand of hair off my face, looked into my eyes.

"Do you...do you want me too..." I tried to say, though my eyelids felt heavier than they ever had.

She smiled lightly and shook her head. "No, not now. Sleep. I'll call in for both of us and we'll just stay here today."

I nodded and shut my eyes, feeling her pulling a sheet over me. She bent over and placed a chaste kiss on my flushed cheek, cuddling up to me. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, safe in her arms.

And right as I felt myself slipping from consciousness, I heard Anna whisper, "I love you, too, Elsa."


	10. IMPORTANT

_**Okay, I know what you guys are thinking. After waiting for another chapter, where is it? Well, I actually needed to talk to you guys about it. School's back in session (which sucks but is also nice since I'm finally a freshman!), and with everything that's going on I'm not sure when imma be able to post. Not that this'll ever be the last you here of me. You can't get rid of me that quick (: (Yeah, that didn't sound as creepy in my head, sorry about the weirdness there).**_

 _ **So, anyways I've decided something that I honestly think will be beneficial. So, I'm not going to be posting a chapter just whenever I finally get around to it. What I'm planning is to just give this a break. Say, a month or so (yes, I realize how agonizingly long that seems (:). Now, in that month I'll write whenever I have time and after that month or so I'll get back on and post what I got around to writing.**_

 ** _Something else I was thinking on is this: I haven't really asked you guys about your opinion on what I've been writing. So, maybe you guys could possibly send in advice or suggestions (:. I think it'd benefit my stories._**

 ** _So, yeah. That's all I've got right now. Sorry about this not being an update to the story but I needed to get this out. I'll check for comments and suggestions and everything on and off and maybe go with a few of them. Thanks guys!_**


	11. Lost

**_Hey! So, I'm finally back (: and ready to write. I've came up with a bit not to mention something else I'm working on (which i'll upload later if you guys want). I didn't get many suggestions or anything, and i'm guessing that's because you guys think I'm doing okay on my own. Or of course, I could be so terrible there's no helping me (:. Anyways, you guys want a story, right? New chapter, new twists. Enjoy!_**

* * *

It would've been nice if it ended there. Happy, I mean. Huh, I guess that's overrated, right? Too cliche? Probably, but then, maybe it wouldn't have hurt...

But I'm jumping ahead. No, back to it I suppose.

We spent the day together, talking, laughing. She kissed each and every scar I had, and I thought to myself how much I needed her. She was all I wanted. She made us lunch, then we watched a few movies, just laid around. It all just seemed so natural, like it was supposed to be this way. I was happy again.

It was almost six before I finally stood to stretch, reached over and grabbed the remote. Anna sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn. I couldn't help smiling. It seemed she was always tired.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

I sat gently on the edge of the couch and looked over at her. "Anna, I've gotta get home. You know I can't stay here all the time."

She scolded, so adorably. "I don't see why not."

I grinned and moved closer, took her hands. "Because it's not like my stuff is here, and I need to get home."

She frowned, but her voice contained a smile as she replied, "If I recall correctly, you said your apartment was crappy."

I laughed lightly and shook my head, using the remote to cut off the t.v. before tossing it aside. "Anna, regardless of if I like the place or not I need to go there."

She huffed and leaned forward, laying her head on my shoulder. "But I don't want you to go, Elsa."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. Closing my eyes, I focused only on her.

"Anna?" I whispered against her ear.

"Yes?"

I pulled back, leaned my forehead against her own. She looked me right in the eye, and I studied her own momentarily. Today they appeared more green than blue, though flecks of pale crystal still dotted. It was pretty, unique. I felt bland compared to her in any aspect.

"Thank you. For today. For everything really."

She smiled lightly and quickly pecked my cheek. "Don't thank me, darling."

I returned the smile and sat straight, squeezed her hands lightly before pulling back.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" she asked, though it was obvious she hesitated at first.

I myself hesitated before answering, somehow knowing it'd be personal. "Yes?"

Anna bit her lower lip and looked down at her lap, and it was clear she was unsure. "I know I said I wouldn't pry into your past, and I won't, I swear. If you don't want to answer then you don't have to. But... I mean, why did you hurt yourself like that?" She motioned to my arm, and I swallowed, though I lump formed in the back of my throat.

"I..." I cleared my throat and subconsciously rubbed my wrist. "It started when I was young."

Anna waited patiently for a continuation but I couldn't. So many things hit me. Fear, depression, anger, hysteria. Memories of nights hid under a bed covering my ears in hopes of blocking out the yelling. Of being blamed for my mother's leaving. Of finding a razor, seeing the crimson liquid escape an open wound. Of all the times after that.

I didn't even realize I was shaking until Anna's arms were around me, wasn't conscious of the tears until I tasted the saltiness on my lips.

"Shh, it's alright, I'm here," Anna murmured.

But I was barely aware she even spoke.

My emotions overtook. I couldn't breath, saw red, saw black. I fought against the hold around me, only remembering my father. Hearing his gruff, anxious laugh, smelling the alcohol on him. And my screaming.

* * *

I don't know what happened after that. Not clearly. I recall the faint sound of breaking glass, of a pained, panicked voice calling to me. Maybe it was just in my head, but I doubt it.

I must have fainted, because I awoke with a start, a searing, agonizing pounding at the base of my neck. I groaned and sat up, my eyesight was blurry.

"Anna?" I called, though it was so small I doubted even someone in the same room could've heard.

I brought a hand up and felt around the back of my neck. Nothing there, so why did it hurt so bad? I sat up fully carefully, tried focusing.

The blurriness subsided, enough I could see I was still in the basement, laying on the couch. There looked like... bandages? on the coffee table before me. I stood up slowly, my legs felt a bit wobbly.

"Anna?" I called out again, though I managed to be a bit louder.

Still nothing.

That worried me; what had I done? Did she hate me? Did I hurt her in the midst of everything? I found myself panicking. I couldn't live with myself if I'd hurt her, even accidentally.

"Anna?!" I called, wincing at the sharp slice that ran from my ear. "Anna, where are you?"

I stumbled forward, round the couch. Upstairs I suddenly heard shuffling, something dropped.

"Elsa?" I heard Anna call from the beginning of the stairs. I groaned as I moved forward farther.

I had to rest against the small side table near the stereo, close my eyes. Maybe I slipped off a second, but before I knew it arms were around me, pulling me closer to warmth and comfort. I didn't argue, huddled into her embrace.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," she coaxed, slowly leading me back toward the couch.

We made it safely. I slumped down, and Anna sat right next to me, refusing to let me go.

"Anna, did I hurt you?" I managed, my throat dry, voice cracking.

Anna stared at me like I'd just said the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. "Hurt me? Elsa, you should be worried about yourself. I mean, your head, and hand..."

I hadn't noticed anything wrong with my hand, not until I looked down where her eyes had wandered. Sure enough, my knuckles were slightly swollen, a cut running down the side of my wrist. But, I couldn't remember how it'd happened...

"What...happened?" I asked, my eyes remaining on my hand, as I was scared to look Anna in the eye.

She sighed and gingerly ran her fingers over my arm. "You... you sorta freaked out, I guess. I mean, you started hyperventilating, so I went to run upstairs to get something to help. I heard a crash, sounded like breaking glass. I ran down, just as you...well, that"-she motioned to the cut-"and grabbed you. You only fought a second, then sorta passed out, and hit your head on the table because I didn't catch you in time."

I swallowed and nodded, hating myself. Hating my lack of control. Hating my past. Hating...everything.

"But... did I hurt you?" I asked again.

There was a pause, hesitation. Then Anna raised her sleeve just a bit, showing a cut down her forearm. It wasn't big, but deep; even now it was red and irritated. "It was an accident," she mumbled as she saw the guilt wash through me.

No, no, no, I couldn't have. What had I done? What the hell was wrong with me? I shook my head and pushed her arm away, disgusted; not at the injury, but that I was the cause.

"Elsa, it was an accident," she tried again. "I shouldn't have intervened like I did. I mean, I'm I did and stopped you from hurting yourself further, but I shoulda known better than try grabbing glass from your hand."

I shook my head again and moved away from her, wincing but not caring about the pain. It didn't matter how I felt, not now that it was obvious I was a danger to this poor woman. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve any of this.

"Elsa, please, just listen to me," she tried, reaching out for me.

"No," I choked out, shielding myself from her touch. "No, please. Just don't."

She winced, but lowered her hand in defeat. I stumbled up, grasping the edge of the couch to remain half way steady. "I...I'm so sorry, Anna. That doesn't make up for anything, I know, but I... I'm so sorry." My words were so small, so pathetic.

Anna shook her head, her jaw setting. "Elsa, don't you dare! Don't you dare apologize." She stood quickly, stood just inches from me. I saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain as she faced me. "I've known you all of two weeks, but I know how you think. I know you blame everything that goes wrong on yourself, but it's not your fault!" She stood rigid a moments time, her eyes scanning me.

"Please, I don't want to watch you walk away, Elsa. And that's what's going to happen if you continue like this. I... it's happened before..." Her gaze faltered, jaw set, she looked past me as if seeing something not there.

But then her eyes returned to me, and she hesitantly reached a hand. "Please. Take my hand. I can't lose you, Elsa."

I was torn.

I wanted so badly to fall into her embrace once more and sob away all my pain and confess everything. I wanted her to see me, _me_ , for who I truly was. I wanted her to love me.

But. No. She couldn't. I was alone, I would be. These past two weeks had been divine, but they weren't meant to last. Not for me. I'm just sorry it had to hurt Anna as well.

I stepped back, gave a pleading look. My heart begged me to reconsider, and I nearly did when I looked into those eyes.

But when I looked away I knew what my choice was. I swallowed back a sudden laugh, brought by sheer horror at what I was giving up. "I'm sorry, Anna. You never really had me to start with."

There was no hate in my words, no bitterness, and yet, they stabbed that poor girl with such intensity she cried out. She shook her head and sank to the couch, staring at me with hazy eyes. Never had I seen such pleading, such vulnerability. Aside from looking in the mirror, that was.

She didn't call me back though, as I stumbled away. Maybe she knew it was hopeless. Maybe she knew I wouldn't, couldn't, reconsider. Or maybe she just gave up.

I don't know; I didn't really realize anything until the setting sun greeted me, and the click of the door closing behind me echoed through my mind. That door was more than a physical boundary now. It was the door I shut in my mind as well, to keep from running back to the redhead.

I didn't cry, for the first time since I'd met this girl. No, her absence went farther than tears were concerned. Something inside me broke as I drove away. Something inside ached to the point of physical pain as I pulled over to get out and throw up. Something was gone forever as I leaned against the car and screamed into my hands as loudly as I could.

And that something, well, I'm certain it was my heart.


	12. Nothing Left to Lose

Everything was hazy, unclear, for days. Maybe weeks, I wasn't sure. Time was irrelevant as I wallowed in self pity and depression, seeing crimson more often then ever before. I shut off my phone, ignored anyone knocking on my door (not that anyone did, besides the land lord once for the rent). I didn't even go to work, or call in to try to make excuses. None of it mattered, not really.

The only thing that went through my head the entire time was that conversation. How I tossed everything away, tossed _her_ away, when all she was trying to do was help me. What kind of person does that?

To say I was lonely, you would've been wrong. But I couldn't feel anything, just numbness. Even the blade across my skin, the physical act of it, left me simply staring at the new wound. Maybe I'd finally gone over the edge.

I only know that one morning I finally got up, finally forced myself to open the blinds and shower and get dressed in clean clothes. Forced myself to cut my phone back on and check the messages on it and get the mail.

A week and a half. In that time I'd received twenty-some messages from Anna, all asking if I was okay, or that she was sorry, or that she missed me. She even left a handwritten message with roses that had begun to wilt on top of the few envelopes.

 _Dear Elsa,  
I know you're in there, shut in yourself. Someone named Kristoff called me and told me everything; about what happened a week ago. I understand. Please, I only want to know you're okay. Call me, okay? I know you didn't mean what you said.  
Love, Anna_

I sighed, tossed the tiny card aside. _Curse you, Krist. How could you do that to me? I didn't ask for your help..._ But he had helped, and in all honesty, I probably needed it.

I bit my lip and stared at the black screen of my phone. Did I want to contact the person I'd been practically hiding from? Did I want to have to give an explanation?

But more importantly, did I want to be alone any longer?

That did it. I'd be damned if I wasted away here, driven mad by loneliness but refusing to do anything about it out of sheer fear. I wanted her to know it was okay, that I was so sorry for everything. That... I wanted her back. If she'd take me back.

I was just about to punch in her number when my phone buzzed, startling me. I eyed the number, slightly annoyed when I recognized it as my workplace. _Really? They haven't given up **yet**? _ I wanted to ignore it, but something made me answer.

"Hello?" I murmured. I almost didn't recognize my own voice; how long had it been since I'd even spoken aloud?

"Elsa?" I froze.

That voice. It couldn't be. _Why is she calling from work?_ But regardless a wave of pure calmness washed over me.

"Anna?" My voice cracked, but I barely even noticed.

"Oh thank god! I was so wor-" And she stopped, as if thinking. "Elsa, I thought you'd..."

I didn't need to be psychic to know what she was saying. "I know. But I didn't. I... I'm okay now. I think."

I heard her sigh, as if relieved at that simple statement. "Okay, okay good." There was a small trace of happiness in her voice, though it was still clouded mainly with worry. "When did you finally... feel better?"

I didn't know what to say. _The moment I heard your voice,_ is what I wanted to say.

"Awe, that's kinda sweet," Anna murmured.

It took me a moment to realize I'd spoken aloud. _Damn you, brain. How hard is it to control both thinking and speaking?_

I nervously cleared my throat and rubbed the back of my neck. We'd skirted around the elephant in the room too long. It was gnawing at my mind, and I needed to address it.

"Anna, I got the note. How much did Kristoff tell you?"

There was silence on her end, and the pit in my stomach twisted into a knot. What had been said between the two? Had he told her everything I'd told him about my past, or simply that I got... emotional sometimes.

"Anna?" I called, after she didn't answer a moment longer.

"Can we... Do you think I can come over? I think maybe this is something better suited for face-to-face. Not over the phone."

There went that twisting. "Oh, uh..." I looked around. Dirty clothes on the floor, bed unmade, all dishes dirty and covering the counter. Not exactly homey.

"Uh... yeah, yeah just, can you call again before you come over? I... kinda slacked on home cleaning this week."

I heard a soft giggle, though it was almost forced it seemed. "Yeah, okay. I'll be done with work in about twenty minutes. I'll call you then."

"Okay. I... Bye," I muttered, catching myself before the words fully escaped. This wasn't the time for that.

A small hesitation, enough to be worried over. "Bye." Then the dial tone.

I sighed and dropped my phone onto the couch beside me. Then looked around. And knew I better get started.

* * *

Almost an hour, and yet I was so weak I was barely done with the dishes before there was a knock on my door. "Hold on!" I called, rushing to grab the clothes and toss them to one side of my room, near the dresser. Maybe it wouldn't be as noticeable there.

I ran a hand through my hair, which I hadn't bothered putting up, hoping it'd help some. I had forgotten to brush it, and hadn't looked in a mirror lately.

Practically holding my breath and praying I wouldn't be slapped or yelled at now that we'd be face-to-face, I opened the door.

And was stunned at the beauty before me.

Anna stood before the door, a short, bright blue dress that only made it to her knees her choice of clothing. She wore white heels, and her hair was up in a high ponytail, revealing her neck and the freckles that traveled down it. I saw lipstick on those lovely lips, eyeliner, blush. She was a goddess even without those, though, I knew. _Why so dressed up?_

"Wow," was all I could mumble.

A small smile spread across her red lips as she looked at me. I felt almost self conscience next such a beauty. "Hi." Her voice transfixed me even more now that it was clear.

Oh god, how I wanted to kiss her. How I wanted to take her then, spend the night telling her everything, let her in. But I couldn't let it go yet, and that wasn't the reason she was here.

I cleared my throat nervously, as if just meeting her for the first time all over again. "Come in," I murmured, stepping aside to allow her entrance.

She hesitated, watching my reaction, before nodding and accepting it was okay. She walked in carefully, however, and refrained from so much as brushing against me. Though thankful for that in some ways, disappointment rolled over me so heavily I silently begged for some reason to brush against her myself.

I closed the door behind her, then followed her to the couch. She looked around as she sat down, though not at me directly. I sat away from her, giving her the space I knew we both honestly needed after all this. It wasn't awkward, just annoying. I had so much to say, yet could't think of the words.

Finally, she began. "Kristoff didn't tell me everything, though he offered. I wanted to hear it from you."

I nodded, understanding. The problem was, how could I tell her everything? If a simply glance into my past sent me to the point of hurting her and just leaving her there, what would delving even deeper do? Was I willing to test that?

"Anna, I... I don't know if that's a good idea," I muttered.

She shook her head so vigorously I winced. "No! Stop doing that, Elsa!" And then her eyes softened, and she gently reached for my hand, which I allowed her to hold. I told myself it was so she felt better, but I know it was more for me.

"Elsa, it's obvious you have memories you'd rather forget. And, I'm breaking my word from the beginning when I said I wouldn't pry. But Elsa... I _need_ to know. I _want_ to help you. Please, just start with what you find easy, and if you can go from there. I want to know everything, but only on your own time."

I bit the inside of my cheek, looked into pleading teal eyes. So bright, so innocent, even after me. What had I gotten this poor girl into?

 _But, she deserves to know... **NO! Are you crazy? She'll leave or hate you or...** But at least she'd know then that I'm not what she deserves. Maybe she'd be happier. _

_**But... you love her.** I also loved Belle... _

I clenched my jaw. The tears burned. But I knew what I needed to do, for her.

I looked down at our hands, her thumb drawing tiny circles on my wrist. God knew I wasn't ready to lose her if that was what happened here today. Yeah, I'd given her up once, but she was back. For now...

I squeezed her hand gently, looked over. "Where do you want me to start?"

The smallest of smiles appeared on those gorgeous lips, a shine in her eyes.

"Wherever you want."

* * *

 **Please don't hate me (though I sorta deserve it). School's a bitch and I only have internet access on the weekends so it's been kinda crappy, so, really sorry for not posting sooner, and for how short this chapter was. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you guys next chapter, promise (: Thanks for everything!**


	13. My Everything

A weight was lifted. In an hour and a half, I'd spilled everything, everything I'd ever kept inside, kept as a reminder that I was a failure. My childhood, my parents. My teen years, all the bullying, the self harm. Even... Even Belle. And after, I felt such relief.

Tears had fallen, and at one point even she'd started crying. But, in the end, she flung her arms around me in a crushing hug.

It wasn't what I expected. No, not at all.

"Oh, Elsa," she murmured against my shoulder, and I felt the warmth of the tears still on her cheeks. "I had no idea."

I forced a giggle, a smile. Sniffled before pulling away. "Because I didn't want you to."

Anna shook her head, reached a hand up to touch my cheek. Her fingertips barely brushed my skin, but it was comforting in a way. "You're not alone. Not anymore. I'm here for you."

I swallowed past a lump in my throat. "But I already pushed you aside once."

She smiled, though it was obviously fake. "Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easily again."

This time the small chuckle I gave was real, and I leaned forward, resting my forehead against her own. She closed her eyes, took my hands. I relaxed.

"Promise me," I whispered, barely even aware it was I who muttered it.

There was silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable, and I closed my own eyes. She didn't need to say it; I knew it was true. I knew she wouldn't leave me alone again.

"No, I won't promise," she finally whispered.

I opened my eyes, caught off guard. And she pulled back, looked me right in the eye. She smiled.

"No more promises, Elsa. I can't. They're too easily broken. Just know I mean it."

I nodded, smiling faintly back. "Thank you."

Her expression changed to a curious one, though the grin still existed. "For what, sweetie?"

I leaned in, kissed her nose gently. The suddenness of it made her giggle. "For listening to me. For being here for me in spite of everything. For... everything."

"No," she said quietly, leaning back in, "thank you for opening my eyes."

The faintest of kisses brushed my lips, and I smiled despite the tears still in my eyes. She was still here, still with me. And I knew it was what she wanted. Perhaps that was the best part about it, about what we went through. Together.

There was a silence, but it was comfortable, reassuring in its own way. Anna gently leaned against me, laid her hand across my thigh. I laid my hand over hers, closed my eyes. I never wanted the moment to pass.

"Hey, Anna?" I whispered. I thought it was about time I asked about the clothes.

"Hmm?" came the response.

"Why are you so dressed up?"

A soft giggle. "I'm taking you to dinner."

Heat ran up my neck. I was probably the luckiest woman in the world to have this angel beside me. The only problem? No clothes...

I looked back toward my bed. What would I wear?

Anna noticed my stare and looked back as well. "What is it?"

I turned back around and looked at my hands, cleared my throat. "I don't exactly have anything to wear right now."

From the corner of my eye I saw her roll her eyes, a smile on those gorgeous lips. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry, I came prepared. I have a change of clothes in my car for you. I'll go get them."

I didn't know what to say, but I couldn't help the small laugh that passed my lips.

"You're something else, Anna," I murmured as she stood.

She looked back over her shoulder, winked playfully. "What can I say? I'm crazy for a certain blonde."

I shook my head, smiled. "Then it's a good thing that blonde feels the same."

She had reached the door, opened it, but turned back. Before slipping out she returned the smile. "Yeah, it is."

* * *

She offered a ride back to my place afterwards, but I declined. No, tonight was all about her. And it only started with dinner.

I drove us to a movie after, some horror movie she said she'd wanted to see. Though not particularly a fan of said genre, it was fun. Next, we stopped for "dessert", as she wanted something chocolate. Oaken was happy to see us, despite the late hour. I wondered how long he stayed open. Then, a simple walk through a park rather close by, that offered a nice garden area.

It was almost midnight by the time we got back to her place, her driving once more. I was tired, ready for sleep to take hold, but not quite yet. There was still something I wanted to do.

With it decided I was staying the night, we got ready for bed, I in yet another of her... flimsy nightgowns. I truly believed it was purposeful. We laid down, of course cuddling, as it seemed was mandatory (not that I was against it one bit). Anna fell asleep in my arms almost immediately.

"Anna?" I purred quietly. No response. "Anna, sweetie, are you awake?" No reply, except the smallest of snores. I smiled at the adorableness.

I somehow managed the almost impossible task of pulling away from the sleeping redhead. Slipping out of bed, I winced as she shifted, groaned. I bit my lip and waited, even after she settled down.

Finally, I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. _That was close... But this'll be worth it._

I tiptoed out the room, uncertain if I could even do this. This was her house. _What if she gets mad? What if she just hates it?_ I shook my head. _No, she wont mind._

Flowers- I'd seen some in the living room and her study. Lilies would work, but roses were more romantic. It didn't matter, she'd like lilies more anyway.

I made my way to her study, slipped inside. It was almost to dark to see anything, but I made my way across to the cluttered desk without any incidents. Pink or white, it was impossible to tell, but I grabbed three of the flowers.

Now paper. I shuffled the papers around a but, making sure they stayed in their stacks. Then it hit me. The computer screen. I scoffed and reached over, fumbled for the power button. As soon as the screen flickered to life it gave off enough light to see by. And there was paper, more specifically, a pad, which was actually better.

Now, to set up what I had planned.

* * *

Morning was here quicker that I expected, the first rays of light shining through the open kitchen windows at dawn as I hustled about in the kitchen. She was definitely stocked for any apocalypses, I saw, when I stumbled upon the mountains of canned foods in her pantry.

I looked up, squinted to make out the numbers on the clock above the stove. Nearly six thirty. She'd be up at eight.

I wiped sleep from my eyes, stifled a yawn. No sleep yet another night, but this time for positive reasons. Anna was worth it.

To be honest, as I got out the eggs and closed the fridge, I was surprised she hadn't awoken. That girl was one hell of a deep sleeper. I must've ran into twenty things throughout the night. God, if someone broke in she'd be fucked.

I shook my head as I opened the carton and took out two eggs, laid them gently in the bowl so they wouldn't roll off the counter and bust as I went back to get the bacon and search for bread.

I couldn't help smiling. Everything was set. A note lay on my pillow, saying good morning and to follow the flower petals. Cliche, I know, but damn romantic, if I did say so myself. The petals led to a bath I'd run for her right before she awoke, then to her study. There, I'd set up another note saying I loved her and that breakfast was waiting for her. From the kitchen table, where I'd have set up a plate (as well as the vase of lilies from the living room), led the final trail of petals, which led to the basement stairs. I'd be downstairs waiting for her. It was genius, if I stayed awake of course.

I probably could've taken a nap sometime in the midst of all that, I know, but I was picky, so it took longer. Everything had to be absolutely perfect for her.

After all, she deserved it.

* * *

Eight o'clock. Everything was ready, I was downstairs, and I could almost imagine the alarm going off. The redhead groaning and turning over, slapping it off. Realizing I wasn't there as she attempted to cuddle and go back to sleep. Seeing and reading the note. Curiosity getting the better of her and following its instructions to the destination.

She wouldn't take a bath, though, as she saw the trail continued. She'd find the note right there on the glass case where her trophies were. She'd read it, a smile on her face, and continue forth. She'd find breakfast waiting, see the still continuing trail, and find me waiting down here for her, her favorite movie already popped into the DVD player, her favorite game and two controllers waiting, and her favorite CD in the music player.

And so I waited. Five minutes. Seven. And then the faint creak of those stairs. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face.

I closed my eyes, refused to look back. I was unprepared, as a result, for the sudden crushing hug I received from behind.

"Oh Elsa," she mumbled into the back of my neck. Her warm breath sent a shiver down my spine. "That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

I leaned back into her, turned my head to place a chaste kiss upon her head. "You deserved it, love." She'd brushed her hair, and I smiled. I remembered why, though the mess it was in the morning didn't bother me. "Now, go eat breakfast and take a bath. I'll be waiting right here for you."

She shook her head, pulled back. She walked around the couch, and I watched her with a small smile. She stared down at me a moment before suddenly climbing onto my lap. A small gasp escaped my lips as she straddled my hips, rested her hands on the back of the couch on either side of me.

"What're you doing?"I asked, although I knew the answer.

She leaned in, kissed me lightly, peppered my cheek, ear, and jaw in the faintest kisses as well. "What I want to," she replied.

I shuddered, closed my eyes, and my hands slipped up to rest on her thighs, which were uncovered thanks to the shortness of her nightgown and the way she was seated. Her skin was hot and soft, perplexing. I sighed, leaned in.

Our lips met, my mind shut down, and I lost control. I squeezed her thighs gently, bit her bottom lip. She groaned faintly, and I took a sharp intake of breath as her hands slid down to rest on my chest. A hard squeeze made me cry out unexpectedly. My back arched slightly.

"Anna," I heard myself mutter, before her lips were once more on mine.

In the next few moments, she was completely and wholly in control. Her tongue battled mine only briefly before overpowering, her hands wandered up and down, even slipped under my nightgown to run over bare flesh. My moans were all I heard, that and my breathing, which had already heightened drastically. My core burned with desire, my body ached for more.

And then I did something neither of us expected. My fingers danced across her thigh as a low moan escaped my lips when she gently began biting about collarbone. I wasn't thinking, only doing, and the result of a simple touch to her already wet panties made her gasp. I didn't know whether it was sheer surprise or pleasure, but I pressed a little harder and rubbed.

She bucked forward, hissed as I leaned back up and began kissing her neck. Now _I_ had the upper hand, and I wasn't losing it easily.

She moaned and gripped my arm, pushed me back and looked me in the eye. I saw pure lust and desire there, but something more. It made me burn within. I bit my lip and pressed harder, making her buck once more. The eye contact broke as she leaned her head back, but I didn't mind.

"Please..." I heard her mutter ever so faintly. That was all I needed.

I used one hand to move aside her soaked panties, the fingers of my other hand delving into her wet folds. She cried out, her hips gyrated, and she leaned back forward.

Her lips met mine, our tongues danced against one another, and her lower half continued to move just as my fingers did against that small bundle if nerves. I chanced it. I gingerly probed at her opening with my middle finger, and almost out of impatience Anna jerked forward. My finger easily slipped inside, receiving a moan of satisfaction from the redhead. I gently moved the digit, tried curled it in a "come hither" motion that sent her gasping and pulling her head back.

Her moans grew louder as I continued, her pleas soon following. My name, pleading for release, it made me moan as well. I slipped another finger inside as requested, and that sent her tumbling over the edge almost immediately.

"Elsa!" she cried out as her body shook, her walls clenched around my intruding digits. She gasped and fell into me after her high ended, and I gently removed my hand.

I slipped the soaked fingers into my mouth without much thought, moaned at the unique taste that was Anna.

"Wow..." she whispered, burying her face against my shoulder.

"Yeah..." I muttered, easing my breathing to normalcy.

After a moment, I felt Anna shaking, and the first thing I thought was _Oh god, I messed something up._ But when I pushed her back gently to ask why she was crying, she started laughing even harder.

"What?" I asked, confused, but a smile couldn't help appearing over my face as she continued.

It took a moment before she could speak. But even then she only shook her head, leaned in and kissed my lips. "We're late for work."

I looked over at the clock, straining my eyes. "No, it's only 8:23. And you're the one with the job now, but I thought you were off today."

She shook her head with a smile, carefully climbed off me. "Yeah, but I'm usually finished showering and dressing by now and on my way to work. Today, Imma be late because I haven't done anything to get ready, plus you cooked breakfast and it'd be rude to just wolf it down. And I'm not off today, someone cancelled and I'm filling in."

I shrugged. "Hey, they'll be okay without you a few minutes."

She giggled. "Oh it's gonna be more than a few minutes. You're taking a bath with me, no arguing," she said when I opened my mouth to object, "and I guarantee I'm not going to be able to keep my hands off you." She gave a wink. "Not to mention I've gotta drive you home."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about that. I'll call Kristoff."

She rolled her eyes and stood, offered a hand. I took it and stood as well. "Nope, I won't hear of it. I'm driving you."

I smiled and leaned in, kissed her cheek. "Fine, whatever you want."

She nodded. "Exactly."

And before walking away, turned to me with a childish grin. "I always get my way."


End file.
